Couple of days ago the world brought in another new year with the hopes of bigger things to come and a better future. It seems to happen every year when new resolutions are made, new foundations are laid and many new prayers are said. We ask for trivial things such as losing that stubborn weight to more meaningful such as world peace but does turning the clock at midnight on December 31st eradicate all the mishaps of the past? Does simply popping the bubbly gives us a clean slate for the next 365 days? I personally feel that every day we wake up brings a promise for something new and exciting. Every day presents us the opportunity to do better than the previous day and every day brings in hope that whatever wish remained unfulfilled will be fulfilled.
Last year many good things happened but we also witnessed tragedies on a massive scale. There were mass shootings of innocent children to hurricanes and natural catastrophes but human beings are formidable creatures and we always come out on the other side stronger and more determined to defy the odds. If there are Talibans in this world, there is also a Malala who stands up to them and literally takes a bullet in the head because she wants to go to school. Her story inspired me beyond words and I pray that she makes a full recovery and succeeds in her mission.
There was also a lot of talk of the world ending according to the Mayyan Calendar. Although majority of the population laughed at the possibility, it did make some people very nervous. My personal theory is that the world will not end until there are still good people around. In many religuous texts, it is explained that when good can no longer triumph over evil, the world will not end so based on that we still have a long way to go and it probably won't happen in my lifetime.
I have not made any resolutions for 2013 because past experiences have taught me that while some reolutions are kept, others just never happen until it is the right time and there is no point in forcing it or putting a date on it. After all as I said before, every day brings new possibilities so why wait for another year to be completely happy!
R
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Randomness
I wanted to write about this for a while and finally got the time to sit down and actually give words to my thoughts.
I have been thinking about how judgemental our society has become lately. It seems that everyone is judging everyone else but also very cleverly able to justify it. Politicians attacking each other, conservatives attacking the liberals, straight people attacking the gays and the list can go on and on.
Recently I came across a story about a TV show personality in Pakistan who is going through a divorce and is planning to marry the head of her network. Now, I know that divorce is a very tough thing to go through for anybody but this person, just because she is a media personality, people feel it is their God given right to ridicule and pass judgement on her. They are saying things like she is characterless, a slut and a bad mother but do they really know what is actually going on in her life? Do they even know if it is entirely her fault or not? It is sad to see people who claim that they are respectable say derogatory things about someone they don't even know. Why so much hatred? What difference does it make in their lives if she goes through a divorce and marries someone else? I think it's the culture of social media which reports even when a celebrity sneezes and too many folks with too much time on their hands to analyze such things.
Another issue that is bothering me lately is how rude people have become while driving. There is a street in my neighborhood that usually has several cars parked in front of homes and people driving through there have to carefully navigate their way around it. I remember, back in the day, when you see and oncoming car you would get behind a parked car and let the other car pass. That was the thing to do but lately I have noticed that nobody wants to yield and both cars are racing to get to the other side, no matter how congested the street. The first couple of times it happened, I ignored it and made way for the other car just to be courteous but lately it seems that my niceness is being taken for granted because not only the other driver races by, he or she doesn't even bother to wave as a thank you! So my patience is wearing thin and I am beginning to find myself becoming just like them. Maybe that's not the right thing to do but a person can only take so much!!
Finally, I am hopeful that all the violence and ignorance in the world will be over soon so we can all go back to being good human beings who care about other human beings no matter what the color of our skin or choice of faith. I want us to be rewarded for our minds and hard work at our workplace instead of how our legs look in that fitted pencil skirt. I want so many things but will settle for this for now.
Until next time!
R
I have been thinking about how judgemental our society has become lately. It seems that everyone is judging everyone else but also very cleverly able to justify it. Politicians attacking each other, conservatives attacking the liberals, straight people attacking the gays and the list can go on and on.
Recently I came across a story about a TV show personality in Pakistan who is going through a divorce and is planning to marry the head of her network. Now, I know that divorce is a very tough thing to go through for anybody but this person, just because she is a media personality, people feel it is their God given right to ridicule and pass judgement on her. They are saying things like she is characterless, a slut and a bad mother but do they really know what is actually going on in her life? Do they even know if it is entirely her fault or not? It is sad to see people who claim that they are respectable say derogatory things about someone they don't even know. Why so much hatred? What difference does it make in their lives if she goes through a divorce and marries someone else? I think it's the culture of social media which reports even when a celebrity sneezes and too many folks with too much time on their hands to analyze such things.
Another issue that is bothering me lately is how rude people have become while driving. There is a street in my neighborhood that usually has several cars parked in front of homes and people driving through there have to carefully navigate their way around it. I remember, back in the day, when you see and oncoming car you would get behind a parked car and let the other car pass. That was the thing to do but lately I have noticed that nobody wants to yield and both cars are racing to get to the other side, no matter how congested the street. The first couple of times it happened, I ignored it and made way for the other car just to be courteous but lately it seems that my niceness is being taken for granted because not only the other driver races by, he or she doesn't even bother to wave as a thank you! So my patience is wearing thin and I am beginning to find myself becoming just like them. Maybe that's not the right thing to do but a person can only take so much!!
Finally, I am hopeful that all the violence and ignorance in the world will be over soon so we can all go back to being good human beings who care about other human beings no matter what the color of our skin or choice of faith. I want us to be rewarded for our minds and hard work at our workplace instead of how our legs look in that fitted pencil skirt. I want so many things but will settle for this for now.
Until next time!
R
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Bond
The bond between mothers and daughters can be so contradictory. Where it can be argued as the stongest, it can sometimes be just as fragile. It begins when a woman realizes that life has begun to breathe inside her body even through it is just a feeling and a speck on the screen while going through the initial ultrasound, this unbreakable bond is created. She suffers through painful labor but forgets all about it when she holds that beautiful bundle of joy in her arms and her heart melts when those tiny eyes open and look at her. She buys cutsie outfits with matching head bands and barbie dolls while teaching her to eat her vegetables and brush her teeth. When the daughter reaches puberty she buys her a training bra and teaches her to close her knees when sitting at the same time feeling anxious that her baby girl is growing up so fast.
Until now the daughter wanted to be just like her mother. She would immitate the way her mother sits and talks, she secretly sneaks into her room and puts on her lipstick and powder, she slips her feet in her mother's shoes and imagines fitting into her beautiful clothes. Then she becomes a teenager and everything changes. She resents her mother for watching her all the time and asking her about her friends. She hates it when her mother barges into her room and tells her to get off the phone and finish her homework. She gets embarrased when her mother tries to act like her sister. Then she meets a boy and her world turns upside down it feels like the sun rises and sets with his name. He becomes the most important person in her life, she thinks she is falling in love and they will be together for the rest of their lives! She hates the fact that her mother questions about him and doesn't think that he's good enough.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a phase and even though she tries to let go a little it is very difficult for her. She reminisces about the time when her daughter told her everything, shared every detail of every moment of her life even if she did not want to listen. She knows when that "special" boy breaks her daughter's heart. She is there when her daughter cries her eyes out saying that her life is over because she knows that there is so much more life to live, so much more to learn. Years go by and her precious daughter grows up to be a beautiful and confident woman. Their relationship begins to take a new form again. Her daughter is taking bigger decisions about her life and she needs her mother there.
The daughter begins to realize that there is no better friend then her mother and confides in her. She tells her about hopes, dreams and fears and her mother listens and gives advice where appropriate but sometimes she also meddles. When the daughter reaches a milestone in her career, her mother is the first person she calls. When she finds herself drowning in the depths of depression and sorrow, her mother is there to wipe her tears and to give her hope but there comes a time when the daughter just wants someone to listen and not fix her problems. She hates it when her mother minimizes her pain and says that everything will be all right for she can't see that in that moment. Deep down she knows that her mother is trying to help but still lashes out at her, blaming her for not understanding.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a tough time and wants to help. She tells her that if it was up to her she would take all her child's sorrows but some things even a mother can't control. She prays that her daughter finds peace and tries to console but is surprised when her daughter accuses her of not undersatnding. Her words cut deep into her heart and leave a scar but she doesn't care about her own wound and only wants her daughter to be happy. She swollows her pride and again reaches out because she knows that her daughter needs her.
When the daughter is done feeling sorry for herself, she realizes that she hurt her mother. She apologizes and her mother says it's ok and the daughter wonders what sort of a creature is this, this mother? She lays her head in her mother's lap and all her worries and pain begin to dissipate. The gentle touch of her mother's hand gives her affirmation that eveything will be all right. She thanks God at that moment for creating mothers who give unconditional love, who take blows from her kids time and again but never forgets her duty, never complains rather prays for her children and always worries about them.
The bond between mothers and daughters is so strong, yet so fragile. Handle with Care.
R
Until now the daughter wanted to be just like her mother. She would immitate the way her mother sits and talks, she secretly sneaks into her room and puts on her lipstick and powder, she slips her feet in her mother's shoes and imagines fitting into her beautiful clothes. Then she becomes a teenager and everything changes. She resents her mother for watching her all the time and asking her about her friends. She hates it when her mother barges into her room and tells her to get off the phone and finish her homework. She gets embarrased when her mother tries to act like her sister. Then she meets a boy and her world turns upside down it feels like the sun rises and sets with his name. He becomes the most important person in her life, she thinks she is falling in love and they will be together for the rest of their lives! She hates the fact that her mother questions about him and doesn't think that he's good enough.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a phase and even though she tries to let go a little it is very difficult for her. She reminisces about the time when her daughter told her everything, shared every detail of every moment of her life even if she did not want to listen. She knows when that "special" boy breaks her daughter's heart. She is there when her daughter cries her eyes out saying that her life is over because she knows that there is so much more life to live, so much more to learn. Years go by and her precious daughter grows up to be a beautiful and confident woman. Their relationship begins to take a new form again. Her daughter is taking bigger decisions about her life and she needs her mother there.
The daughter begins to realize that there is no better friend then her mother and confides in her. She tells her about hopes, dreams and fears and her mother listens and gives advice where appropriate but sometimes she also meddles. When the daughter reaches a milestone in her career, her mother is the first person she calls. When she finds herself drowning in the depths of depression and sorrow, her mother is there to wipe her tears and to give her hope but there comes a time when the daughter just wants someone to listen and not fix her problems. She hates it when her mother minimizes her pain and says that everything will be all right for she can't see that in that moment. Deep down she knows that her mother is trying to help but still lashes out at her, blaming her for not understanding.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a tough time and wants to help. She tells her that if it was up to her she would take all her child's sorrows but some things even a mother can't control. She prays that her daughter finds peace and tries to console but is surprised when her daughter accuses her of not undersatnding. Her words cut deep into her heart and leave a scar but she doesn't care about her own wound and only wants her daughter to be happy. She swollows her pride and again reaches out because she knows that her daughter needs her.
When the daughter is done feeling sorry for herself, she realizes that she hurt her mother. She apologizes and her mother says it's ok and the daughter wonders what sort of a creature is this, this mother? She lays her head in her mother's lap and all her worries and pain begin to dissipate. The gentle touch of her mother's hand gives her affirmation that eveything will be all right. She thanks God at that moment for creating mothers who give unconditional love, who take blows from her kids time and again but never forgets her duty, never complains rather prays for her children and always worries about them.
The bond between mothers and daughters is so strong, yet so fragile. Handle with Care.
R
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Social Notwork!
So I took a bold step this week and deactivated my Facebook account, WHAT?? Yes, my friends I am no longer the social network junkie. For some people this may be like falling off the face of earth or the virtual death. It was a tough decision but in light of many things, had to be made. Now you must be thinking why would I do something like this? One, I was spending way too much time on it, really? Yes, having FB app on your iPhone is like being attached to a ball and chain. Every few minutes when you feel like taking a break, you click a button and there in front of you are all the status updates from the last five minutes. Even though most of them are random and you would otherwise have no interest in them, you read through them anyway and maybe hit the LIKE button on a couple.
When it comes to statuses, there are several varieties of them. Some just post where they are and what they are doing at the present. Some post philosophical and inspirational quotes -- Ok now I don't mind reading one or two of them but when someone posts three or more in one day, it clearly annoys me. What's worse is that they are almost always posted by people who have never seen a dark day in their lives, who have virtually everything in the world and are very happy and they are the ones telling me to be patient, have faith and look on the bright side, GIVE ME A BREAK!!
There are some statuses I really like for example, comic strips or joke of the day. They do put a smile on my face and I will take them rather then an inspirational quote anyday.
Another thing that drives me up the wall is when people post pictures of their children. Now I like children especially babies but must you put a new pic everyday? Do we really need to know when your kid started eating solid foods or pooped for that matter? I realize that every parent is proud of their kids and want to capture every special moment but must you subject the rest of us to it? I feel sorry for relatives of these people who feel obligated to make a comment every time a new picture is posted becuse if they don't, the parent might think you don't think their kid is cute.
My decision is only temporary and I may come back on it in the future but for some reason knowing too much about people disturbs me and makes me wonder how much I have already revealed to strangers and what are the consequences?
To summarize, I feel that Facebook has changed the game of how we interact with people and on some level it is great and as humans we have the tendency to be curious about other people but must we reveal every aspect of our lives in front of our 300+ Facebook friends? Are all these people really our true friends? Will most of them come for our help when we call them in the middle of the night, loan us money when we are in trouble or give us a shoulder when we need to cry? Maybe there are people who can answer YES to all these questions but I cannot say the same and until I am ready to make peace with this I will be living my life in the real world and will not be posting any pictures of it!!
R
When it comes to statuses, there are several varieties of them. Some just post where they are and what they are doing at the present. Some post philosophical and inspirational quotes -- Ok now I don't mind reading one or two of them but when someone posts three or more in one day, it clearly annoys me. What's worse is that they are almost always posted by people who have never seen a dark day in their lives, who have virtually everything in the world and are very happy and they are the ones telling me to be patient, have faith and look on the bright side, GIVE ME A BREAK!!
There are some statuses I really like for example, comic strips or joke of the day. They do put a smile on my face and I will take them rather then an inspirational quote anyday.
Another thing that drives me up the wall is when people post pictures of their children. Now I like children especially babies but must you put a new pic everyday? Do we really need to know when your kid started eating solid foods or pooped for that matter? I realize that every parent is proud of their kids and want to capture every special moment but must you subject the rest of us to it? I feel sorry for relatives of these people who feel obligated to make a comment every time a new picture is posted becuse if they don't, the parent might think you don't think their kid is cute.
My decision is only temporary and I may come back on it in the future but for some reason knowing too much about people disturbs me and makes me wonder how much I have already revealed to strangers and what are the consequences?
To summarize, I feel that Facebook has changed the game of how we interact with people and on some level it is great and as humans we have the tendency to be curious about other people but must we reveal every aspect of our lives in front of our 300+ Facebook friends? Are all these people really our true friends? Will most of them come for our help when we call them in the middle of the night, loan us money when we are in trouble or give us a shoulder when we need to cry? Maybe there are people who can answer YES to all these questions but I cannot say the same and until I am ready to make peace with this I will be living my life in the real world and will not be posting any pictures of it!!
R
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Year That Was...
It's that time of the year again!! Another year is coming to a close and many of us are already looking forward to the year that is on the horizon. Most of us have already made our new year resolutions while some will stop and reflect on the time that flew by at break-neck speed. Amidst all the planning to bring in the new year with a bang there hopes, dreams, wishes....expertly woven in the celebrations with people ready to move forward and achieve bigger and better things for themselves. When I look back at the year that was 2011, I also had hopes, dreams and certain wishes that needed to be fulfilled; some by sheer hard work and some left to destiny and although destiny was not completely on my side, I have not let go of that hope, for those unfulfilled dreams have spilled over my new wish list.
As I glance over some of the websites that have devoted themselves to looking at the year past, I can't help but realize that there was a lot that has happened. From revolutions in Egypt that led a dictator to step down to relentless pursuit of Libyans to rid themselves of the terror of Ghadafi. From "Occupy" movements in Washington, New York and Oakland to end of the war in Iraq, this has certainly been the year that belonged to the common man and it is my belief that these types of movements will only strengthen in the years to come.
We also lost a lot in 2011. The first person that comes to mind is Steve Jobs. A man who revolutionized the world not by wars but by simply making the computer a fundamental part of our lives. His contribution to this century is immeasurable and only God knows how far Apple will go in the years ahead. His recent demise also opened our eyes to Steve Jobs, the man who could do anything in the world but was no match for a deadly disease. According to Amazon, Steve Job's biography was the best selling book of 2011 (just thought I'd share that :). Then, there was Osama Bin Laden, The Public Enemy #1. I still remember the breaking news that came on sometime after 10pm that sent shock waves and a sense of relief throughout the world. He was killed by some very skilled and very secret Navy Seals in Pakistan. Now being a Pakistani I was not happy about the location because it meant more negative propaganda by the media about the country and its people. I don't deny that the government of Pakistan is less then perfect but the actions and greed of a few politicians always reflects bad on that country's entire population. In the new year I certainly wish that Islam and Muslims who work very hard to live an ethical life be recognized and the West would finally stop persecuting all Muslims for the actions of a corrupt few.
So what are your new year resolutions? I know that like most women in the world my no.1 will always be to "lose weight", then there are other personal goals but what I wish for the world is tolerance, better understanding, open mindedness, less frivolity(please someone get rid of the Kardashians and Snookie), more charity, acceptance and World Peace!!!
Hopefully we'll achieve all of them in 2012 because beyond that we have nothing to look forward to, or do we?;)
R
As I glance over some of the websites that have devoted themselves to looking at the year past, I can't help but realize that there was a lot that has happened. From revolutions in Egypt that led a dictator to step down to relentless pursuit of Libyans to rid themselves of the terror of Ghadafi. From "Occupy" movements in Washington, New York and Oakland to end of the war in Iraq, this has certainly been the year that belonged to the common man and it is my belief that these types of movements will only strengthen in the years to come.
We also lost a lot in 2011. The first person that comes to mind is Steve Jobs. A man who revolutionized the world not by wars but by simply making the computer a fundamental part of our lives. His contribution to this century is immeasurable and only God knows how far Apple will go in the years ahead. His recent demise also opened our eyes to Steve Jobs, the man who could do anything in the world but was no match for a deadly disease. According to Amazon, Steve Job's biography was the best selling book of 2011 (just thought I'd share that :). Then, there was Osama Bin Laden, The Public Enemy #1. I still remember the breaking news that came on sometime after 10pm that sent shock waves and a sense of relief throughout the world. He was killed by some very skilled and very secret Navy Seals in Pakistan. Now being a Pakistani I was not happy about the location because it meant more negative propaganda by the media about the country and its people. I don't deny that the government of Pakistan is less then perfect but the actions and greed of a few politicians always reflects bad on that country's entire population. In the new year I certainly wish that Islam and Muslims who work very hard to live an ethical life be recognized and the West would finally stop persecuting all Muslims for the actions of a corrupt few.
So what are your new year resolutions? I know that like most women in the world my no.1 will always be to "lose weight", then there are other personal goals but what I wish for the world is tolerance, better understanding, open mindedness, less frivolity(please someone get rid of the Kardashians and Snookie), more charity, acceptance and World Peace!!!
Hopefully we'll achieve all of them in 2012 because beyond that we have nothing to look forward to, or do we?;)
R
Friday, November 11, 2011
Writing for real!!
I have been writing for fun for a very long time and have received quite a few compliments on some of my work but when I read my own work, I find lots of flaws, I compare myself to the authors I read. I marvel at their ability to use metaphors and similes and to make their characters come alive. It's always a challenge for me to describe physical attributes of a person or paint a picture of a room in great detail so I dicided to enroll myself in a creative writing class. I pitted myself against the Journalists and aspiring novelists of this world. Honestly it was a bit intimidating at first because I felt completely out of place. I sat in my corner when they talked about reading the classics like Anna Karenina, Moby Dick and brilliant works of Shakespeare. I was also impressed by their literary backgrounds and their ability to quote famous authors. Now, I also find myself to be an avid reader and have read works of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Jane Austen and Harper Lee but only as school assignments. Today I read what I like and what I like is not classics but contemporary works that are written in language we speak, about the world we live in; about family, love, life and society. After attending a few classes and completing a few assignments, I have realized that it's not about how much you have read but it's about what you have gotten out of it. Did reading change your life? It certainly changed mine becuase by reading I found my love for writing and after joining this particular class and reading my material out loud it has given me confidence that I can do this. I may not be as good as others yet but no one is saying that I am bad either!
R
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Mean Girls
Why do people spend so much time and energy in being mean to others. I think that being mean drains your energy becuse you surround yourself with negativity. Doesn't it take more effort to frown than to smile? My recent encounters with certain people have made me wonder, what is it that the other person does not like about me that makes them behave in such an unprofessional way? Maybe it's not about me at all. Maybe this person has her own demons she's dealing with and my entrance in her life is seen as an interruption and a hindrance. Never mind that all I have seen her do all day is gossiping and looking at pictures on Facebook and when I need something that is actually related to work, there is a sigh and the infamous eyeroll. What is the matter with you lady? Why are you being such a bitch? It's not like I am imposing on you. I was placed here by an agreement between your superior and mine and as I don't have any control over the situation, neither do you. So shouldn't we all just try to get along and make the best of the situation?
My opinion is that we should all act like grownups and most importantly professional. We don't have to like each other but a welcoming smile wouldn't hurt. I am not about to make you my Facebook friend or share my deepest darkest secrets with you. All I want is a little courtesy and acknowledgement that the things I need done should be done at the appropriate time.
Anyways,I was just wondering if people can be fundamentally mean where they are rude to everyone they meet or do they pick and choose their target? I think this type of behavior is petty and childish and does not have any room in the workplace.
There, I have let out my frustration and actually feel good about it, tomorrow I will work on facing the person in question and giving her a piece of my mind if the opportunity presents itself.
R
My opinion is that we should all act like grownups and most importantly professional. We don't have to like each other but a welcoming smile wouldn't hurt. I am not about to make you my Facebook friend or share my deepest darkest secrets with you. All I want is a little courtesy and acknowledgement that the things I need done should be done at the appropriate time.
Anyways,I was just wondering if people can be fundamentally mean where they are rude to everyone they meet or do they pick and choose their target? I think this type of behavior is petty and childish and does not have any room in the workplace.
There, I have let out my frustration and actually feel good about it, tomorrow I will work on facing the person in question and giving her a piece of my mind if the opportunity presents itself.
R
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
The Verdict!
Unbelievable!!
That was my reaction when I heard that Casey Anthony was found not guilty. I haven't followed this trial in depth but whatever I had seen disgusted me and made me wonder how a mother can go on partying when her child had been missing for 30 days!! Casey Anthony may not have killed her daughter but she certainly was covering something up and that is a crime in itself. She is an immature woman who saw her child as a gross inconvenience to her lifestyle. She is a daughter who would throw her family under the bus to save her own skin. She is a woman who would lie, cheat and betray people in order to get her way. I know that all this does not make her a murderer but how can a mother not know where her 2 year old daughter is every given moment let alone 30 days!!
I firmly believe that this case was not about justice but about her lawyer pulling all the stops in order to win. During the closing argument, the defense talked for 4 hours displaying a mound of charts and graphs and creating reasonable doubt in the jury's minds. That's what won them the case!! I also feel that the prosecutor's arrogance by laughing and thinking that he had this in the bag may have rubbed the jury the wrong way but ultimately the fate of Casey Anthony rested in the hands of 12 people who felt that a month of evidence and testimony did not prove anything.
During the morning news, I saw a journalist saying that since nowadays people watch shows like CSI where every case has a definitive ending based on DNA evidence, this jury did not think prosecution had a case without DNA. So now we have become so stupid that we have to look at TV shows to determine real life cases? Come on people! Life is not a TV show. There are real victims here who are being deprived of justice because we are so caught up on hype and sensationalism.
I am sad that the jury made the decision that they did but I also know that there is a bigger judge and jury that sees everything and doesn't need DNA evidence to give HIS verdict.
R
That was my reaction when I heard that Casey Anthony was found not guilty. I haven't followed this trial in depth but whatever I had seen disgusted me and made me wonder how a mother can go on partying when her child had been missing for 30 days!! Casey Anthony may not have killed her daughter but she certainly was covering something up and that is a crime in itself. She is an immature woman who saw her child as a gross inconvenience to her lifestyle. She is a daughter who would throw her family under the bus to save her own skin. She is a woman who would lie, cheat and betray people in order to get her way. I know that all this does not make her a murderer but how can a mother not know where her 2 year old daughter is every given moment let alone 30 days!!
I firmly believe that this case was not about justice but about her lawyer pulling all the stops in order to win. During the closing argument, the defense talked for 4 hours displaying a mound of charts and graphs and creating reasonable doubt in the jury's minds. That's what won them the case!! I also feel that the prosecutor's arrogance by laughing and thinking that he had this in the bag may have rubbed the jury the wrong way but ultimately the fate of Casey Anthony rested in the hands of 12 people who felt that a month of evidence and testimony did not prove anything.
During the morning news, I saw a journalist saying that since nowadays people watch shows like CSI where every case has a definitive ending based on DNA evidence, this jury did not think prosecution had a case without DNA. So now we have become so stupid that we have to look at TV shows to determine real life cases? Come on people! Life is not a TV show. There are real victims here who are being deprived of justice because we are so caught up on hype and sensationalism.
I am sad that the jury made the decision that they did but I also know that there is a bigger judge and jury that sees everything and doesn't need DNA evidence to give HIS verdict.
R
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Gratitude
On the occasion of Thanksgiving I wanted to write about something that is relevant to people this time of year. Gratitude. I, like many others, forget to be thankful for the things that are in my life because it is so easy to overlook the blessings when you are busy complaining about the shortfalls. My mom always tells me that "when feeling down, always look at people below you, at people who aren't as fortunate as you because by seeing their suffering, your problems will look pretty minuscule." Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?
Long time ago I heard a story where a man goes to heaven and sees three stations. At the first station, there are several angels who are busy opening letters and sorting them. The man looks confused and asks an angel as to what's going on? The angel replies that this is the receiving department. Here, prayers and requests are received from man and presented to God. The man moves on to the next station. Here, the angels are equally busy packing envelopes and boxes. The man asks the angel to explain. Here is the shipping department, the angel explains, all the blessing and wishes that God has granted are shipped from here. The man moves on to the final station where he only sees one angel who is yawning. The man asks the angel what department is this? The angel says that this is the acknowledgment department. He says that human beings are very quick to ask for things and when God grants their wishes, they forget to say thanks so that's why this department is always slow.
Why do you think it is so hard to say a prayer in gratitude? Maybe because we take things for granted or maybe we think that it is our right and we deserve the things we have, but without God's benevolence, nothing is possible. He gives us this life to enjoy and He can easily take it away from us just like that. So I am making it my mission to say thanks everyday, not just on special occasions because the Sun comes out everyday, the air we breathe is a constant and He is the mastermind behind it. When he doesn't forget us for even a single moment, isn't it our duty to say thanks? Next time look around you and count your blessings because their abundance will outweigh shortfalls any day.
R
Long time ago I heard a story where a man goes to heaven and sees three stations. At the first station, there are several angels who are busy opening letters and sorting them. The man looks confused and asks an angel as to what's going on? The angel replies that this is the receiving department. Here, prayers and requests are received from man and presented to God. The man moves on to the next station. Here, the angels are equally busy packing envelopes and boxes. The man asks the angel to explain. Here is the shipping department, the angel explains, all the blessing and wishes that God has granted are shipped from here. The man moves on to the final station where he only sees one angel who is yawning. The man asks the angel what department is this? The angel says that this is the acknowledgment department. He says that human beings are very quick to ask for things and when God grants their wishes, they forget to say thanks so that's why this department is always slow.
Why do you think it is so hard to say a prayer in gratitude? Maybe because we take things for granted or maybe we think that it is our right and we deserve the things we have, but without God's benevolence, nothing is possible. He gives us this life to enjoy and He can easily take it away from us just like that. So I am making it my mission to say thanks everyday, not just on special occasions because the Sun comes out everyday, the air we breathe is a constant and He is the mastermind behind it. When he doesn't forget us for even a single moment, isn't it our duty to say thanks? Next time look around you and count your blessings because their abundance will outweigh shortfalls any day.
R
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Mind Games
A few years ago a friend of mine introduced me to "The Secret", a groundbreaking concept that popularized "the law of attraction", which basically said that if you focus on something enough the Universe will make every effort to get it to you. I remember watching this DVD with some skepticism but there were some points that even convinced me to take charge of my own destiny. I instantly came home and relayed this message to my husband and told him that we should make a vision board and put all the things that we desire on it. This way it's out there in the Universe and the law of attraction will bring them to us. He listened to me and amused me while I went through the internet and magazines to search for picture of the things I would like to have. Even though people in the video put some outlandish things on their vision board, I took the practical approach and only asked for things that seemed reasonable. Over the years we have achieved a few things that are on that board but some still remain out of reach. Today every time I look at that board, I question myself whether my desires have come true because of it or were they part of a master plan that was already in place by the Almighty? Do we really have the power to change our destiny? Can we really get each and everything that we desire? If the answer to all these questions is yes then why do we believe in God? Why not just pickup a pen and paper and jot down all our desires and wish them upon us? Why not wish all the bad things out of this world? Does man really have that power? I have subscription to South Asian TV channels and every other commercial is about a numerologist, an astrologer or a clairvoyant who promise to vanish all your problems and guarantee that you will have peace and wealth in just seven days. Is this even possible? Are there people among us who possess the power to eliminate all our problems and make us rich and happy? Is there a mathematical equation that can eradicate all ailments? If so then why is it that only a handful among us are able to do this and not all? Wow! so many questions right? But didn't all of us at one time or another sought answers via reading our horoscope, showing our palm to a psychic or calling a clairvoyant to predict our future? I know that I read my horoscope all the time and will also admit to visiting a psychic once. Does that make me an evil person? No I don't think so because desperate times call for desperate measures. When we are at a low point in life and feel that our prayers are not being answered, we do get swayed by promises made by these self-proclaimed Gurus who promise instant gratification. I am at a point in my life where I am thankful to God for everything that he has blessed me with but I can certainly see someone who is going through a tough time in life sitting in front of his or her TV when a commercial comes on that promises to make all your problems disappear, you will most likely pickup the phone and call and shell out a hefty fee in hopes of getting some answers. It is the vulnerable that these people prey on. There is a whole community out there of people who promise you the world and people of all background and educational levels are falling for it because who doesn't want Utopia, but does Utopia really exist? Are human beings ever satisfied with what we have or do we always want more?
Recently I saw on TV that one of the self help gurus featured on "The Secret", James Arthur Ray, has been arrested for three counts of manslaughter because three people died at one of his retreats in Arizona. This man who made millions of dollars making public appearances and selling books went too far when his followers were led into a sweat lodge to clean their mind and body, to free themselves of all the negatives and essentially have a rebirth. Three people died of extreme heat and dehydration and many were injured. Ray was arrested and is now awaiting his day in court. So my question is: if this man can teach others to attract positives in their lives and make themselves happy, then how come he is facing criminal charges and public scrutiny and is unable to make them go away? Touche.
R
Recently I saw on TV that one of the self help gurus featured on "The Secret", James Arthur Ray, has been arrested for three counts of manslaughter because three people died at one of his retreats in Arizona. This man who made millions of dollars making public appearances and selling books went too far when his followers were led into a sweat lodge to clean their mind and body, to free themselves of all the negatives and essentially have a rebirth. Three people died of extreme heat and dehydration and many were injured. Ray was arrested and is now awaiting his day in court. So my question is: if this man can teach others to attract positives in their lives and make themselves happy, then how come he is facing criminal charges and public scrutiny and is unable to make them go away? Touche.
R
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Random Thoughts
I recently attended an event where I saw many middle aged women dressed like teenagers and I felt completely disgusted. It's one thing to want to look young but why do women feel the need to borrow clothes from their two-sizes too small daughters? In this day and age growing old gracefully is not an option for people that's why the anti-aging cosmetics is a multi-billion dollar business around the world. In every country women and some men are trying their hardest to reverse the aging process and they are willing to go through any length to make it happen but dressing in tights and tank tops that accentuate their muffin tops instead of hiding it is just tasteless. People think that the more skin you show, the sexier you look but that's not always true. A woman dressed in a great fitting jean and an embroidered blouse can look better than a woman who is all for skin show. I know many teenage girls who complain that their mothers want to look like their sister when in reality they want their mother to look like their mother and not some hoochie! I understand the need to look young and sexy but dressing like a hooker will only attract the wrong kind of attention.
Another issue that is burning me up is the Gulf oil spill. It makes me sick to see all that oil leaking and threatening the lives of so many innocent people and animals. It broke my heart to see sea gulls and other creatures weighed down by the sticky oil, and what about the fishermen who lost their livelihoods because of some very greedy executives at BP? I was happy to hear that the government is initiating a criminal investigation against BP and I think that they should throw these executives in jail to show the rest of the world that there are consequences for playing with other people's lives.
Well I think that's it for burning issues for now but I will be back with some more later.
R
Another issue that is burning me up is the Gulf oil spill. It makes me sick to see all that oil leaking and threatening the lives of so many innocent people and animals. It broke my heart to see sea gulls and other creatures weighed down by the sticky oil, and what about the fishermen who lost their livelihoods because of some very greedy executives at BP? I was happy to hear that the government is initiating a criminal investigation against BP and I think that they should throw these executives in jail to show the rest of the world that there are consequences for playing with other people's lives.
Well I think that's it for burning issues for now but I will be back with some more later.
R
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
The big disconnect
I often talk to teenagers and most of the time they tell me that their parents just don't get them. They feel that there is a barrier in place and their parents just don't make any effort to break through it. For the purpose of this blog I will use Desi parents and their kids as examples. A Desi is anyone who has immigrated to the western world from India, Pakistan and other neighboring south Asian countries. Desi people started coming to America in search of a better life for themselves and their families. The land of opportunity was so alluring that they could not resist and left their homeland. In America they threw themselves into work and many of them succeeded astronomically. Soon they began reaping the rewards for their hard work by buying nice homes, purchasing luxury cars and providing their children with all that they never had. For them this was life fulfilled but in living the American dream, they forgot to communicate with their children. These kids grew up to be excellent students because anything mediocre was unacceptable. They sported impeccable manners because that was how "Desi" kids were supposed to behave but they could not communicate with their parents because they grew up in a completely different world. Although desi parents try their best to instill all the cultural aspects in their children, but what they forget is that their kids are first and foremost Americans. They ignore the fact that taking them on a trip "back home" once a year will not change who they are. Instead of bridging the gap, our desi parents relegate to speeches about us vs. them. Those Americans are not like us, they don't have a sense of religion or culture, they have boyfriends and talk back to their parents but we don't do that. We respect our parents, we are supposed to stay chaste until we get married, we don't allow this and we don't allow that. These parents fail to realize that these speeches always have the negative effect on their children. They begin resenting their parents and start questioning them that "If you hated the American culture so much then why did you come here?" It is totally unfair for parents to live in a western country and bash it's people and it's values. Every country has good and bad people and it's up to the parents to talk to their children and teach them the proper values. These values should not be about us vs. them but about incorporating good things from both cultures to raise a complete human being.
I have also observed that parents are completely clueless about what their kids' interests are. The foundation to be involved in your child's life should be laid at a very young age. You should always ask questions about their likes and dislikes and make them used to talking to you because once they hit adolescence they will go into a shell. I grew up in a home where my mom was always there. As soon as I came from school, I would tell her everything about the day and this habit is still there even today. Most parents are too busy to talk to their kids while they are growing up and suddenly become interested in their lives once they reach adolescence, but by this time the kids have made friends and have other confidants and last thing they want to do is share their feelings with their parents.
I believe that every parent should make an effort to become interested in their child's hobbies such as music, movies, books and any other interests at an early age. Conversation to your child should not be limited to "How was school" because nothing will turn them off faster than a school question. A father who educates himself about his son's favorite sport will always have a special connection with him. A mother who learns about the latest trends in fashion and popular culture will always have something to talk about with her daughter. These are foundations that will make your child feel comfortable and they will want to come to you with more serious issues such as drugs, peer pressure, sex instead of going to a friend. I am all for parents who are friendly with their kids but also establish certain boundaries. Trying to become your child's best friend can backfire just as ruling with an iron fist will turn them into rebels.
So desi parents work hard but do not neglect your child because believe it or not your child wants to talk to you but you have to make the first move.
R
I have also observed that parents are completely clueless about what their kids' interests are. The foundation to be involved in your child's life should be laid at a very young age. You should always ask questions about their likes and dislikes and make them used to talking to you because once they hit adolescence they will go into a shell. I grew up in a home where my mom was always there. As soon as I came from school, I would tell her everything about the day and this habit is still there even today. Most parents are too busy to talk to their kids while they are growing up and suddenly become interested in their lives once they reach adolescence, but by this time the kids have made friends and have other confidants and last thing they want to do is share their feelings with their parents.
I believe that every parent should make an effort to become interested in their child's hobbies such as music, movies, books and any other interests at an early age. Conversation to your child should not be limited to "How was school" because nothing will turn them off faster than a school question. A father who educates himself about his son's favorite sport will always have a special connection with him. A mother who learns about the latest trends in fashion and popular culture will always have something to talk about with her daughter. These are foundations that will make your child feel comfortable and they will want to come to you with more serious issues such as drugs, peer pressure, sex instead of going to a friend. I am all for parents who are friendly with their kids but also establish certain boundaries. Trying to become your child's best friend can backfire just as ruling with an iron fist will turn them into rebels.
So desi parents work hard but do not neglect your child because believe it or not your child wants to talk to you but you have to make the first move.
R
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Healthcare Reform
On March 22nd, 2010 a historic event occurred on the house floor. The United States Congress passed a government run healthcare reform bill with a 219-212 vote. This bill was overwhelmingly supported by democrats while Republicans strongly opposed it. President Barack Obama succeeded in achieving a feat that many of his predecessors tried and miserably failed. On Monday this news was all over the media with many people from all walks of life weighing in on it. There were some strong opinions by supporters as well as people who absolutely hate it.
I as many of my fellow Americans have an opinion about this. Now I don't claim that I fully understand this bill because it is close to a thousand pages and I highly doubt that even the lawmakers who voted actually read and understood what all it contains; however, there are some points that jump out at me and I would like to comment on them.
Basically the government will take over all the healthcare provided to the American people in it's own hands. The government wants to insure approximately 36 million Americans who are uninsured to make sure that quality healthcare is available to them. The Operating word here is "quality". Most of the people who are already on Medicaid today do not receive quality care as is because Medicaid pays the doctors pennies on the dollar. With passing of this bill, Medicaid will add millions of more people who will want to see a physician who is already overworked and underpaid. When denied an appointment, these same patients will crowd the emergency rooms of hospitals further delaying "quality care" because hospitals don't have enough physicians nor nurses to meet the demand.
I support the bill as it extends healthcare to people who did not have a chance to go see a doctor before due to no insurance but I have a problem with the basic economics of it. It all comes down to supply vs. demand. The government has created a demand but they did not look at the short supply of medical personnel. The number of medical students willing to go into family care has decreased significantly in the last 10 years. There are many countries in the world who have implemented socialized medicine and from here the picture looks all rosy, but when you take a closer look you will realize that a patient wanting to see a Cardiologist in Canada or England may wait up to six months to get an appointment where in The U.S. you can choose a Cardiologist of your choice and get in the same week! This can mean a difference between life and death. Early prevention can eliminate higher medical costs in the future. Instead of giving access to people who are non-compliant why not promote a culture of healthy eating and healthy living?
I recently saw a show on ABC where a British chef goes to a small American city to change their eating habits. He is received with a lot of skepticism and hesitation because he wants to break the culture of processed foods and introduce fresh produce. He goes to a school and is horrified to see so much processed frozen crap that we are feeding our kids. Our goal should be to bring change from ground zero which is our school system. I think every parent should see that show to realize what kind of junk their kids are being fed. The basic root of the problem are our eating habits and our sedentary lifestyle and until we change that we will keep driving up the healthcare costs.
This new healthcare bill is very ambitious but it has several loop holes and can strain our fragile economy even further where hardworking honest taxpayers will give a huge chunk of their money to the government so that the government can support people who have chosen to be non-compliant. I like Barack Obama and respect many of his views but I do not like the fact that he took such a hasty decision on this very important piece of legislation.
R
I as many of my fellow Americans have an opinion about this. Now I don't claim that I fully understand this bill because it is close to a thousand pages and I highly doubt that even the lawmakers who voted actually read and understood what all it contains; however, there are some points that jump out at me and I would like to comment on them.
Basically the government will take over all the healthcare provided to the American people in it's own hands. The government wants to insure approximately 36 million Americans who are uninsured to make sure that quality healthcare is available to them. The Operating word here is "quality". Most of the people who are already on Medicaid today do not receive quality care as is because Medicaid pays the doctors pennies on the dollar. With passing of this bill, Medicaid will add millions of more people who will want to see a physician who is already overworked and underpaid. When denied an appointment, these same patients will crowd the emergency rooms of hospitals further delaying "quality care" because hospitals don't have enough physicians nor nurses to meet the demand.
I support the bill as it extends healthcare to people who did not have a chance to go see a doctor before due to no insurance but I have a problem with the basic economics of it. It all comes down to supply vs. demand. The government has created a demand but they did not look at the short supply of medical personnel. The number of medical students willing to go into family care has decreased significantly in the last 10 years. There are many countries in the world who have implemented socialized medicine and from here the picture looks all rosy, but when you take a closer look you will realize that a patient wanting to see a Cardiologist in Canada or England may wait up to six months to get an appointment where in The U.S. you can choose a Cardiologist of your choice and get in the same week! This can mean a difference between life and death. Early prevention can eliminate higher medical costs in the future. Instead of giving access to people who are non-compliant why not promote a culture of healthy eating and healthy living?
I recently saw a show on ABC where a British chef goes to a small American city to change their eating habits. He is received with a lot of skepticism and hesitation because he wants to break the culture of processed foods and introduce fresh produce. He goes to a school and is horrified to see so much processed frozen crap that we are feeding our kids. Our goal should be to bring change from ground zero which is our school system. I think every parent should see that show to realize what kind of junk their kids are being fed. The basic root of the problem are our eating habits and our sedentary lifestyle and until we change that we will keep driving up the healthcare costs.
This new healthcare bill is very ambitious but it has several loop holes and can strain our fragile economy even further where hardworking honest taxpayers will give a huge chunk of their money to the government so that the government can support people who have chosen to be non-compliant. I like Barack Obama and respect many of his views but I do not like the fact that he took such a hasty decision on this very important piece of legislation.
R
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Life Lessons
Ever wonder what it means when you hear the phrase "live life to the fullest' or "don't worry about anything because you have one life to live"? What does it really mean to live a full life? Does it mean party all you want, travel, shop and have fun or is there something deeper in it? I have always struggled with this because as I was growing up, I avoided parties and hanging out with the popular crowds because I was afraid to get influenced by the wrong people. I was afraid that they would get me hooked on the wrong things and thus kept my distance, but now as I sit here and write this piece, I wonder if I lost out on something very integral, what people call the zest of life. I don't have any regrets but a part of me always wonders what kind of a person I would be today had I been more social or experimental. Does this mean that I really missed out on enjoying life to the fullest?. For me a full life also consists of how much of a difference you have made in other people's lives. I was raised with a sense of responsibility and a sensibility towards others. I believe in service and generosity and my favorite and best teacher has been my mother. My mother is a wonderful cook and many family members showed up at our home to have her food or if she made something special, she would pack it up and send it over to whoever asked for it. She always tells me this is her way of showing love and while others can afford to shower expensive gifts, she loves sharing her food and is appreciated just as much if not more. So this life lesson is extremely important because it is not about how much money you spend on someone but showing how much you care by little gestures such as cooking like my mom.
Another life lesson is about friendship. I am very fortunate to have a few but very good friends. We may not talk on the phone everyday or see each other in months but in our hearts we know that we are there for each other. It is certainly a challenge to be close to your friends all the time due to our hectic schedules and geographical distances but true friends will always be in your heart no matter where they live and even if you meet them after years, it would always seem like you just talked yesterday. There is another side to friendship which can hurt and make you miserable. These are people who come into your life for a short period of time but leave a bad taste in your mouth. I've had my share of so-called friends who brought a lot of negativity and toxic energy in my life. When I was younger, I found it hard to tell them about the damage they are causing, but now I feel it is important to distance yourself from such people. We should always make friends who bring out the best in us, not the ones who suck the life out of us and leave us exhausted. So I have let those people go because they do not contribute anything significant to my life.
Lastly, the most important life lesson comes from our spiritual side. We all believe in a higher power and know that there is something greater out there that controls everything and everyone. Once I was having a discussion with a very dear friend about taking care of your body and skin and all the outer things and she suddenly asked, "So what are you doing for your soul?" That question shocked and puzzled me and I couldn't help but remember that in Islam and most of the religions around the world, it is taught that your body is finite, only your soul is infinite. Life as we know it is temporary because one day we all have to die and leave this body behind, only what's inside gets to go and be with that superior being. So what do you do to cleanse your soul? I don't think it is necessary to pray 24/7 and preach about your religion to people every opportunity you get. For me living my life with honesty and integrity is also an act of faith along with religious rituals and prayers. I know plenty of people who pray all the time but are nasty human beings who hurt people. There are so many ways we can be spiritual. Just doing what my mom does by serving her food to people is an act of faith. Giving charity is an act of faith. Watching your neighbor's kid while they are out is an act of faith. I could go on and on but you get the idea. So the lesson here is that while it is great to take care of your body and live a healthy life but it is more important to have a healthy soul.
Life lessons are important and the purpose should be to learn from them. If you have made a decision in the past that has left a negative impact on you then you should do everything possible to avoid repeating that mistake and if the results are positive then you should try and replicate them. I believe in making life easier for people by providing my services and advice whenever I can and I also try and learn from my elders because their experiences enrich my life. So my friends learn from life because there is no better teacher and live your life to the fullest because after all, we only get one life to live.
R
Another life lesson is about friendship. I am very fortunate to have a few but very good friends. We may not talk on the phone everyday or see each other in months but in our hearts we know that we are there for each other. It is certainly a challenge to be close to your friends all the time due to our hectic schedules and geographical distances but true friends will always be in your heart no matter where they live and even if you meet them after years, it would always seem like you just talked yesterday. There is another side to friendship which can hurt and make you miserable. These are people who come into your life for a short period of time but leave a bad taste in your mouth. I've had my share of so-called friends who brought a lot of negativity and toxic energy in my life. When I was younger, I found it hard to tell them about the damage they are causing, but now I feel it is important to distance yourself from such people. We should always make friends who bring out the best in us, not the ones who suck the life out of us and leave us exhausted. So I have let those people go because they do not contribute anything significant to my life.
Lastly, the most important life lesson comes from our spiritual side. We all believe in a higher power and know that there is something greater out there that controls everything and everyone. Once I was having a discussion with a very dear friend about taking care of your body and skin and all the outer things and she suddenly asked, "So what are you doing for your soul?" That question shocked and puzzled me and I couldn't help but remember that in Islam and most of the religions around the world, it is taught that your body is finite, only your soul is infinite. Life as we know it is temporary because one day we all have to die and leave this body behind, only what's inside gets to go and be with that superior being. So what do you do to cleanse your soul? I don't think it is necessary to pray 24/7 and preach about your religion to people every opportunity you get. For me living my life with honesty and integrity is also an act of faith along with religious rituals and prayers. I know plenty of people who pray all the time but are nasty human beings who hurt people. There are so many ways we can be spiritual. Just doing what my mom does by serving her food to people is an act of faith. Giving charity is an act of faith. Watching your neighbor's kid while they are out is an act of faith. I could go on and on but you get the idea. So the lesson here is that while it is great to take care of your body and live a healthy life but it is more important to have a healthy soul.
Life lessons are important and the purpose should be to learn from them. If you have made a decision in the past that has left a negative impact on you then you should do everything possible to avoid repeating that mistake and if the results are positive then you should try and replicate them. I believe in making life easier for people by providing my services and advice whenever I can and I also try and learn from my elders because their experiences enrich my life. So my friends learn from life because there is no better teacher and live your life to the fullest because after all, we only get one life to live.
R
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Change
Change is tough but it's inevitable. There is always fear of the unknown but you can't rule out the curiosity to learn something new. Personally I have gone through many changes in life as most people reading this blog. My first big change came when I left Pakistan at the age of 11 and came to America. At the time I had no clue where America was and what it had in store for me but coming here was my destiny, so I came. The next big change came about when I was through with college and had an opportunity to live and work away from my parents. This was a big shocker because in our culture, unmarried children no matter how old always lived with their parents. With a lot of begging and pleading I finally got permission to live on my own. This I would consider as one of the most enlightening phases of my life. I was asked questions like, "Why do you not live with your parents?", "Do you not get along with your parents?" Some people even branded me as being a loose character because no good girl leaves her parents' home and lives on her own. There were whispers among family members also with aunts and uncles calling my mom and asking about my intentions. They also didn't fail to mention that no eligible boy from a good family would consider me for marriage; boy were they wrong!
Next change came when I was scoping out prospective suitors for marriage. Most guys I talked to were surprised when they learned that I didn't live with my parents, but there was one man who admired my courage to be independent and make a life for myself so I married him.
Married life was a huge change. My husband and I had known each other for only a few months before we got married and it was a very big adjustment. The first year was tough as we were both getting to know each other and learning to love each other in the process but after that it has been smooth sailing. I am proud to say that he is my best friend. He is the most kind and compassionate person on the face of this earth and although I don't say it to him enough, I love him dearly.
So change is scary but it's necessary because it means progress. I thank my father for the first big change for bringing us here. I know that my sisters would agree with me because we were living a very poor life in Pakistan not knowing if we would be able to go to college or get married in a decent family. I thank my parents again in believing in me and giving me the freedom to pursue my dreams of higher studies and a great career. I also want to thank my husband for loving me and changing me as a person. I am more grounded because of him. I value people and and their deeds rather than jewelry and clothes.
There are many changes in store for me in the future and I know that I will embrace each change because change is progress.
R
Next change came when I was scoping out prospective suitors for marriage. Most guys I talked to were surprised when they learned that I didn't live with my parents, but there was one man who admired my courage to be independent and make a life for myself so I married him.
Married life was a huge change. My husband and I had known each other for only a few months before we got married and it was a very big adjustment. The first year was tough as we were both getting to know each other and learning to love each other in the process but after that it has been smooth sailing. I am proud to say that he is my best friend. He is the most kind and compassionate person on the face of this earth and although I don't say it to him enough, I love him dearly.
So change is scary but it's necessary because it means progress. I thank my father for the first big change for bringing us here. I know that my sisters would agree with me because we were living a very poor life in Pakistan not knowing if we would be able to go to college or get married in a decent family. I thank my parents again in believing in me and giving me the freedom to pursue my dreams of higher studies and a great career. I also want to thank my husband for loving me and changing me as a person. I am more grounded because of him. I value people and and their deeds rather than jewelry and clothes.
There are many changes in store for me in the future and I know that I will embrace each change because change is progress.
R
Saturday, February 6, 2010
GO RED!!
We all know that heart disease is the #1 killer of women in America, but do we know that treatment of women with heart disease rests in the hands of political bureaucrats and big insurance companies? Working for a Cardiologist has given me an inside look into the future of American health care. Recently Medicare has cut reimbursements for critical cardiac tests for up to 40%. This may not mean much to a patient until he or she realizes that insurance lobbyists have convinced our government to set high deductibles and premiums for average Americans who believe they have decent health insurance. For example, you are paying $300 a month in premiums for medical insurance thinking that you will get the best possible service when you need it but what you don't know is that most of the insurance companies impose deductibles on some very necessary tests. A deductible is the amount of money that you have to pay from your own pocket before your insurance even kicks in. If you are lucky it could be as low as $1,500 per family but it could go up to $10,000 a year. Which means that unless you get into a car accident or have a heart attack you will never meet your insurance deductible for that year.
Medicare has justified cuts in cardiology tests as too many tests being done and it is bankrupting the government. I agree that there are doctors out there who run a battery of tests unnecessarily but what about honest doctors who are in the profession to help people and only order certain tests to rule out major complications? They are being punished by the government for taking care of or even keeping their patients alive.
We had a patient come into our office the other day needing a stress test. Upon verifying her insurance we found out that she has a $1,000 deductible and considering the way insurance works we were not going to paid a single penny unless the patient paid something upfront. When I said that to the patient she almost had tears in her eyes because she thought that she had good insurance and all she had to pay that day was her copay. Although she needed the test, she left our office without being seen. Now I work for a great Doctor who would've seen her without worrying about the money a couple of years ago but considering his expenses, he couldn't afford to see this patient.
Bottom line is that Americans are getting sicker and need medical care now more than ever but the insurance companies and the government are tying the hands of capable physicians by not paying them for their hard work and also penalizing the patients by imposing high premiums and deductibles. This is all because of lobbying or should I say bribery by big insurance companies in congress. This may not effect an average healthy person right now but it will when you and I need a doctor and the good ones will all be gone.
R
Medicare has justified cuts in cardiology tests as too many tests being done and it is bankrupting the government. I agree that there are doctors out there who run a battery of tests unnecessarily but what about honest doctors who are in the profession to help people and only order certain tests to rule out major complications? They are being punished by the government for taking care of or even keeping their patients alive.
We had a patient come into our office the other day needing a stress test. Upon verifying her insurance we found out that she has a $1,000 deductible and considering the way insurance works we were not going to paid a single penny unless the patient paid something upfront. When I said that to the patient she almost had tears in her eyes because she thought that she had good insurance and all she had to pay that day was her copay. Although she needed the test, she left our office without being seen. Now I work for a great Doctor who would've seen her without worrying about the money a couple of years ago but considering his expenses, he couldn't afford to see this patient.
Bottom line is that Americans are getting sicker and need medical care now more than ever but the insurance companies and the government are tying the hands of capable physicians by not paying them for their hard work and also penalizing the patients by imposing high premiums and deductibles. This is all because of lobbying or should I say bribery by big insurance companies in congress. This may not effect an average healthy person right now but it will when you and I need a doctor and the good ones will all be gone.
R
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Prayers for Haiti
It's amazing how much mental stimulation you get when you engage in conversations with people from all walks of life. Lunch time at my office is one such forum. We talk about anything and everything under the sun. No topic is off limits. These days our main topic of conversation is the earthquake in Haiti. It is definitely heart wrenching to see all the devastation and loss of precious life. Sometimes it makes me think about all the mysterious ways in which God works. I can't help but wonder why most of the worst disasters hit the poorest and densely populated nations? To that, one of my coworkers said that maybe because the more fortunate choose the best locations to live in where they feel safe so the underprivileged have no choice but to live on the land that's left over. I don't know about anyone else but her thought did resonate with me and I kept thinking about some other natural disasters such as the Tsunami, earthquake in China and India. It takes years for people in those nations to rebuild their lives because they lack the infrastructure and basic resources. In Haiti for example, a corrupt government has left the country with buildings that were unstable so their fall in the face of such a disaster was inevitable. I remember taking a tour of San Fransisco in one of those city tour buses a couple of years ago and the tour guide pointed out that most of their government buildings in the financial district were built on foundations that acted like ball bearings so if for instance an earthquake hit, the buildings would move from side to side and come back to their original positions and not collapse. Now that was amazing to me. Taking a proactive measure instead of reacting after a major catastrophe. My heart goes out to all those people who have lost their loved ones and homes and I thank God everyday for the blessings he has showered on us.
I'll share more topics of discussions in the near future.
R
I'll share more topics of discussions in the near future.
R
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Where have the children gone?
Last Thursday the world watched a giant balloon floating over the state of Colorado thinking it took off with a 6 year old boy inside. Local authorities were contacted, air traffic in and out of the Denver airport was grounded and many people were glued to the TV following the path of the balloon and praying that the boy inside is safe. The telecast lasted for over two hours and the story was plastered all over the internet. When the balloon finally landed in a field and people came to know that there was no one inside, more panic ensued. Speculations were flying everywhere; Did the boy fall off? Was he trapped inside? Was there a chance for him to come out of this ordeal alive? A widespread search for the boy commenced only to discover that he had been hiding in his attic all this time and fell asleep. The world took a collective sigh of relief and offered their gratitude that the boy was unharmed, but the next day the mood changed as their were speculations that the family planned this whole thing and duped the entire world. After all, they wasted many resources that could have been used elsewhere. Latest I've heard is that police is investigating this whole thing as a hoax. They found out that the family is very TV savvy and have already appeared on a reality show. Also upon examining the balloon, scientists have concluded that there is no way the balloon could've taken off with the little boy inside as it was not sturdy enough.
This story captivated me also as it was unfolding but in light of all this new information, I cannot help but wonder what has happened to us? Why are we in such a need to get noticed? Why are parents putting their kids through such stunts to make a quick buck or get famous? This exploitation cannot be healthy in any way. I remember being a kid and life was very simple back then, but for kids growing up today there is so much pressure, so many expectations. The family that pulled this stunt for 15 minutes of fame probably won't think it was worth it when they are slapped with a number of criminal charges. They won't think it's funny when the CPS will come in their home and take their children away. The consequences for such actions are never good. Look at John and Kate! What a mess they have made of their lives. If they weren't doing the reality show and went through the same ordeal in private, maybe their kids wouldn't have gone through what they are going through right now. I bet it's not fun to hear about or watch your parents flaunting their dirty laundry in public. These kids will probably have to hear about this and suffer consequences for a long time because of their public exposure.
Another thing that annoys me is parents entering their children in beauty pageants. All the fake teeth, makeup and focus on vanity can go through a kid's head. I don't know why parents don't learn from child artists who, after losing their fame, can hardly function in society. They usually fall victim to drugs, sex and alcohol. Children are meant to live their childhood not to act like adults before their time. They should be taught how to play with their dolls, action figures, ball and bikes, not how to act in front of the camera so that mommy and daddy can live their dreams at their expense.
R
This story captivated me also as it was unfolding but in light of all this new information, I cannot help but wonder what has happened to us? Why are we in such a need to get noticed? Why are parents putting their kids through such stunts to make a quick buck or get famous? This exploitation cannot be healthy in any way. I remember being a kid and life was very simple back then, but for kids growing up today there is so much pressure, so many expectations. The family that pulled this stunt for 15 minutes of fame probably won't think it was worth it when they are slapped with a number of criminal charges. They won't think it's funny when the CPS will come in their home and take their children away. The consequences for such actions are never good. Look at John and Kate! What a mess they have made of their lives. If they weren't doing the reality show and went through the same ordeal in private, maybe their kids wouldn't have gone through what they are going through right now. I bet it's not fun to hear about or watch your parents flaunting their dirty laundry in public. These kids will probably have to hear about this and suffer consequences for a long time because of their public exposure.
Another thing that annoys me is parents entering their children in beauty pageants. All the fake teeth, makeup and focus on vanity can go through a kid's head. I don't know why parents don't learn from child artists who, after losing their fame, can hardly function in society. They usually fall victim to drugs, sex and alcohol. Children are meant to live their childhood not to act like adults before their time. They should be taught how to play with their dolls, action figures, ball and bikes, not how to act in front of the camera so that mommy and daddy can live their dreams at their expense.
R
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Nadia's Story
Here is another Story I wrote not too long ago. Just want to see what you guys think.
His name was Javed and he first saw Nadia in a shopping mall. It was love at first sight for him and from that moment on he made it his mission to find out everything about her. He would stand outside her college just to get a glimpse of her, send her roses and chocolates and write love letters with his blood. It didn’t take long for him to win her over as she found him insanely attractive. They began exchanging love letters and having discreet phone conversations. One day Javed suggested that they meet at his friend’s house. Nadia was reluctant at first but Javed assured her that she had nothing to be afraid of, she can trust him. Her trust in him grew when he kept his word and didn’t try anything she would feel uncomfortable with. They started meeting regularly and every time Javed gained a little more mileage with her. Within a couple of weeks they were making out and Nadia liked how it felt. She liked all the sensations her body felt when she was in his arms and she liked how his lips tasted and every time they parted she wanted more of him. One day Javed extended an invitation to spend the whole night with him. Nadia was certainly tempted but she was also very afraid. Somewhere in the back of her mind she feared the unknown but she was hopelessly in love with this guy and just wanted to live in the moment. She recruited one of her friends to go to her mother and father to ask if Nadia can spend the night at her house. Nadia knew that it was a difficult task as her parents did not allow her to stay away from home for too long, especially at night. After much cajoling by her friend they finally gave in. Nadia carefully packed her overnight bag with scented lotions and a nighty she had bought a few days ago and headed to meet Javed. He picked her up on his bike at a local bus station and they drove off to his friend’s house. The tiny apartment was filled with fresh flowers and lovely romantic lighting. Nadia excused herself and went to the bathroom to change. As she slipped out of her clothes, her heart started beating really fast. Meanwhile, Javed put on some soft music and settled on the bed waiting for her. She stepped out of the bathroom, her eyes planted on the floor as she felt extremely conscious in the semi revealing nighty. When Javed saw her he let out a sigh. She was breathtaking and he just couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He got up from the bed and went close to her, real close. She found his gaze piercing like he could see every detail of her body. He put his arms around her and she laid her head on his muscular chest. They held each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then he lowered his head and kissed her on her forehead and went down inch by inch until he reached her lips. He held himself back but Nadia couldn’t stand it anymore. She raised her lips to his and unleashed the passion. They kissed right there standing until Nadia’s knees felt weak and her legs couldn’t stand her weight anymore. She leaned fully into his body and he led her to the bed. She laid flat on her back and pulled him close to her until his body was directly over her. He fit her perfectly. He removed his shirt and pants as she watched him provocatively. He was so handsome, chiseled to perfection. He found her staring at her and smiled. She looked away. He slipped beside her and reached for her nighty. She hesitated so he turned the light off. Slowly he removed her nighty and she pulled the covers over her all the way to her throat as she had never undressed in front of anyone, not even her own mother, not after she turned ten. Slowly Javed pulled her closer to him and she let all her inhibitions go. He drove inside her and she let out a cry but after a moment, the pain was gone and she started swimming in the deep blue ocean of pleasure.
The next morning she woke up in his arms a completely different person. Now she was a woman who just spent the most glorious night of her life with the man she loved. After that magical night they were always eager to repeat the passion play. Nadia would bunk her college and they would sneak to Javed’s friend’s house where they would drive each other crazy with desire. With every get-together Nadia was getting bolder and more aware of her sexuality but as this seemed like an ideal arrangement for Javed, she was ready to think about her future, their future. Often she would mention that she wanted to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him and he would tell her that they had all the time in the world to think about the future but right now they should just enjoy what they have. His evasive answers started to make Nadia very uncomfortable especially when she was late. She was never late. She confided in one of her friends and they went out and bought a home pregnancy test from a store about an hour away from their home. Nadia was frightened as she peed on the stick. She kept praying that it was negative and this was just an isolated event where she was a few days late but her stars had something else in store for her. When she saw two lines on the stick her worst fear came to life. She sank on the couch, sick to her stomach and unable to breathe.
She called Javed and told him that she needed to see him. He told her to head to his friend’s house and he’ll join her. When he came over Nadia clung to him and began crying hysterically. Javed became worried and tried to calm her down. After a few moments she found enough strength to tell him the truth. He was clearly surprised but he reassured her that there was no reason to panic. He also told her that he’ll talk to his parents that night and send them to her house with a formal proposal of marriage. Nadia was relieved. This is exactly what she expected from Javed. He loved her and he was ready to stand by her. She went home that night and slept peacefully while dreaming of a beautiful life with Javed and their new baby.
Four days passed since she had told Javed but he hadn’t contacted her. This was not unusual because he often had to go out of town for work for weeks at a time but time was not on their side right now because it was slipping away with every breath.
One day while helping her mother in the kitchen she felt nauseated. She ran to the bathroom and Mrs. Qureshi followed her. They say that mothers have a very strong sixth sense and her mother’s sixth sense was telling her that something was terribly wrong. Nadia came out of the bathroom and found her mother standing there. She could sense what was going through her mother’s head and she could not face her. As she headed to her room, Mrs. Qureshi stopped her in her tracks.
“Nadia what is going on?” She asked
“I don’t know, must be something I ate.” Nadia lied
“Look me in the eye and tell me the truth.” She came and stood right in front of Nadia
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nadia tried to fight back tears. She just wanted to buy some time until Javed returned.
“Why did you throw up all of a sudden? Tell me what you have done.” Mrs. Qureshi was not about to let go.
“Mummy…Mummy…” Nadia broke down and embraced her mother tightly.
“Oh my God…Oh my God…Tell me you didn’t do anything wrong. Tell me you didn’t sacrifice our pride and honor. Tell me you didn’t shame us in front of the world. Tell me…Tell me.” She was fiercely shaking Nadia who continued to cry.
“I am sorry mummy, I am so sorry.”
“Who is he? Who is he with whom you have blackened our reputation?”
“Mummy please…Mummy please forgive me…I made a terrible mistake…Please”
“Tell me his name.”
“His name is Javed. I met him six months ago…mummy he loves me…he loves me a lot and he wants to marry me.”
After hearing this Mrs. Qureshi calmed down a bit and sat down on Nadia’s bed. She came up with a strategy where she will meet Javed and talk to him herself. Then she would talk to his parents and they would arrange a very small religious ceremony where they would get married.
Next day Nadia tried to call Javed but his phone number was disconnected. She was confused and dialed the number several times only to hear the same message over and over again. Frustrated she threw her phone and started crying. She didn’t want to believe that Javed may have been a jerk who took advantage of her and when she got pregnant with his child, made a run for it. She wanted to believe that all the things he said to her, all the promises he made to her were sincere and that he truly loved her. She wanted to believe that he wanted this child and a life together as much as she but as days went by she was getting very nervous. She didn’t have another contact number for him. She did not even know where he lived but she knew where his friend lived so one day she went over to the apartment only to find a family with two small kids living there. The woman told her that they moved in a week ago and did not have any information about the previous tenant. Nadia was clearly distraught. It had happened. Javed did turn out to be a complete jerk whose only goal was to have sex with her. Now what? What was she going to do? How was she going to tell her mother that the father of her baby had disappeared in thin air? How was she going to face the world as an unwed mother? What has she done? She was hating herself at this moment for letting a man take advantage of her like that. Surely her parents raised her to know better but Javed broke her resolve and left her to fend for herself. She was never going to forgive him and she was never going to forgive herself.
Mrs. Qureshi was sitting in Nadia’s room with her head in her hands. Nadia had just told her everything and was now sitting across from her crying. Mrs. Qureshi looked up and said,
“Stop crying. Crying won’t solve the problems you have gotten us into.” Her tone was harsh as she was angry at her daughter and also sad for her.
“There is only one solution. We must abort the child.” She said
“No” Nadia shouted and gripped her stomach with both arms protecting her unborn child.
“Nadia don’t be a fool. There is no other way.”
“No..mummy..no…please don’t do this.” Nadia lowered herself on the floor and grabbed her mother’s feet for mercy.
“Nadia we don’t have a choice. You are an unmarried girl and to get pregnant is a sin. If anyone gets a wind of this we will be outcast from the society. People will spit on us. Who will marry you?” Mrs. Qureshi started babbling in an effort to rationalize the situation.
“But mummy no one has to know. I can go away from here. Far away with my baby.” All of a sudden Nadia was talking like a grown woman and not a teenager.
“This is not possible. You will do as I say. I will not let you deprecate us anymore than you already have.”
She left the room leaving Nadia on the floor. When she got to her room Mr.Qureshi was reading his newspaper. He was unaware of all the happenings in his own home and Mrs.Qureshi preferred it that way. She knew that if her husband finds out the truth he is capable of murdering his own daughter in the name of family honor and pride. Nadia will have to do as she says this is the only way she can save the family’s honor and her daughter’s life. She decided to call her only sister and ask her to come and help her with this difficult decision and when her sister reached she did everything in her power to convince Nadia to do as being told. Nadia rebelled but ultimately made the decision to terminate her pregnancy in order to save her and her family’s honor. Her aunt stayed back for another few months because following the abortion Nadia had fallen into severe bout of depression. She had become zombie like and stayed in her room either listening to sad songs or sleeping. Her mom and aunt knew that for Nadia killing the baby was like cutting off a body part but they were also sure that she will heal with time and they were right because Nadia did recover. She picked herself up and joined a vocational class. Her life had become very routine. Every day she went to class, worked on her assignment, came home, helped her mom in the kitchen and went to sleep. She had lost her zest for life and it broke her mother’s heart to see her this way. She desperately prayed for a miracle that would take Nadia out of this ordeal and change her life. Her prayers were answered the day her childhood friend called from Lahore and said that her son was coming to Karachi for a job interview and would be staying with them a few days. Parvez came and instantly fell in love with this beautiful, quiet girl who had certain sadness in her eyes and secrets in her heart. He immediately decided that Nadia was the girl he wanted to marry. Somehow he felt the urge to take all her sorrows away and give her a life full of love and beauty. When Nadia heard about Parvez’s proposal she told her mom that she wanted to tell him the truth about her past but her mom ruled against it. She did not want to lose a guy like Parvez because she was convinced that once he learns the truth, he will not want to have anything to do with Nadia. For days Nadia struggled with the decision because she did not want to start a new life with a lie. She liked Parvez and did not want to keep him in the dark. As her future husband he had every right to know the truth; hence, she wrote everything in a letter and patiently waited for his reply. She was ready to face rejection but to her surprise Parvez’s decision was not altered. They married with all the fanfare and as promised Parvez lived up to all the promises he made and showered so much love on her that she forgot all about the past and became the same fun loving and spirited girl she always was.
His name was Javed and he first saw Nadia in a shopping mall. It was love at first sight for him and from that moment on he made it his mission to find out everything about her. He would stand outside her college just to get a glimpse of her, send her roses and chocolates and write love letters with his blood. It didn’t take long for him to win her over as she found him insanely attractive. They began exchanging love letters and having discreet phone conversations. One day Javed suggested that they meet at his friend’s house. Nadia was reluctant at first but Javed assured her that she had nothing to be afraid of, she can trust him. Her trust in him grew when he kept his word and didn’t try anything she would feel uncomfortable with. They started meeting regularly and every time Javed gained a little more mileage with her. Within a couple of weeks they were making out and Nadia liked how it felt. She liked all the sensations her body felt when she was in his arms and she liked how his lips tasted and every time they parted she wanted more of him. One day Javed extended an invitation to spend the whole night with him. Nadia was certainly tempted but she was also very afraid. Somewhere in the back of her mind she feared the unknown but she was hopelessly in love with this guy and just wanted to live in the moment. She recruited one of her friends to go to her mother and father to ask if Nadia can spend the night at her house. Nadia knew that it was a difficult task as her parents did not allow her to stay away from home for too long, especially at night. After much cajoling by her friend they finally gave in. Nadia carefully packed her overnight bag with scented lotions and a nighty she had bought a few days ago and headed to meet Javed. He picked her up on his bike at a local bus station and they drove off to his friend’s house. The tiny apartment was filled with fresh flowers and lovely romantic lighting. Nadia excused herself and went to the bathroom to change. As she slipped out of her clothes, her heart started beating really fast. Meanwhile, Javed put on some soft music and settled on the bed waiting for her. She stepped out of the bathroom, her eyes planted on the floor as she felt extremely conscious in the semi revealing nighty. When Javed saw her he let out a sigh. She was breathtaking and he just couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He got up from the bed and went close to her, real close. She found his gaze piercing like he could see every detail of her body. He put his arms around her and she laid her head on his muscular chest. They held each other for what seemed like an eternity. Then he lowered his head and kissed her on her forehead and went down inch by inch until he reached her lips. He held himself back but Nadia couldn’t stand it anymore. She raised her lips to his and unleashed the passion. They kissed right there standing until Nadia’s knees felt weak and her legs couldn’t stand her weight anymore. She leaned fully into his body and he led her to the bed. She laid flat on her back and pulled him close to her until his body was directly over her. He fit her perfectly. He removed his shirt and pants as she watched him provocatively. He was so handsome, chiseled to perfection. He found her staring at her and smiled. She looked away. He slipped beside her and reached for her nighty. She hesitated so he turned the light off. Slowly he removed her nighty and she pulled the covers over her all the way to her throat as she had never undressed in front of anyone, not even her own mother, not after she turned ten. Slowly Javed pulled her closer to him and she let all her inhibitions go. He drove inside her and she let out a cry but after a moment, the pain was gone and she started swimming in the deep blue ocean of pleasure.
The next morning she woke up in his arms a completely different person. Now she was a woman who just spent the most glorious night of her life with the man she loved. After that magical night they were always eager to repeat the passion play. Nadia would bunk her college and they would sneak to Javed’s friend’s house where they would drive each other crazy with desire. With every get-together Nadia was getting bolder and more aware of her sexuality but as this seemed like an ideal arrangement for Javed, she was ready to think about her future, their future. Often she would mention that she wanted to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him and he would tell her that they had all the time in the world to think about the future but right now they should just enjoy what they have. His evasive answers started to make Nadia very uncomfortable especially when she was late. She was never late. She confided in one of her friends and they went out and bought a home pregnancy test from a store about an hour away from their home. Nadia was frightened as she peed on the stick. She kept praying that it was negative and this was just an isolated event where she was a few days late but her stars had something else in store for her. When she saw two lines on the stick her worst fear came to life. She sank on the couch, sick to her stomach and unable to breathe.
She called Javed and told him that she needed to see him. He told her to head to his friend’s house and he’ll join her. When he came over Nadia clung to him and began crying hysterically. Javed became worried and tried to calm her down. After a few moments she found enough strength to tell him the truth. He was clearly surprised but he reassured her that there was no reason to panic. He also told her that he’ll talk to his parents that night and send them to her house with a formal proposal of marriage. Nadia was relieved. This is exactly what she expected from Javed. He loved her and he was ready to stand by her. She went home that night and slept peacefully while dreaming of a beautiful life with Javed and their new baby.
Four days passed since she had told Javed but he hadn’t contacted her. This was not unusual because he often had to go out of town for work for weeks at a time but time was not on their side right now because it was slipping away with every breath.
One day while helping her mother in the kitchen she felt nauseated. She ran to the bathroom and Mrs. Qureshi followed her. They say that mothers have a very strong sixth sense and her mother’s sixth sense was telling her that something was terribly wrong. Nadia came out of the bathroom and found her mother standing there. She could sense what was going through her mother’s head and she could not face her. As she headed to her room, Mrs. Qureshi stopped her in her tracks.
“Nadia what is going on?” She asked
“I don’t know, must be something I ate.” Nadia lied
“Look me in the eye and tell me the truth.” She came and stood right in front of Nadia
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Nadia tried to fight back tears. She just wanted to buy some time until Javed returned.
“Why did you throw up all of a sudden? Tell me what you have done.” Mrs. Qureshi was not about to let go.
“Mummy…Mummy…” Nadia broke down and embraced her mother tightly.
“Oh my God…Oh my God…Tell me you didn’t do anything wrong. Tell me you didn’t sacrifice our pride and honor. Tell me you didn’t shame us in front of the world. Tell me…Tell me.” She was fiercely shaking Nadia who continued to cry.
“I am sorry mummy, I am so sorry.”
“Who is he? Who is he with whom you have blackened our reputation?”
“Mummy please…Mummy please forgive me…I made a terrible mistake…Please”
“Tell me his name.”
“His name is Javed. I met him six months ago…mummy he loves me…he loves me a lot and he wants to marry me.”
After hearing this Mrs. Qureshi calmed down a bit and sat down on Nadia’s bed. She came up with a strategy where she will meet Javed and talk to him herself. Then she would talk to his parents and they would arrange a very small religious ceremony where they would get married.
Next day Nadia tried to call Javed but his phone number was disconnected. She was confused and dialed the number several times only to hear the same message over and over again. Frustrated she threw her phone and started crying. She didn’t want to believe that Javed may have been a jerk who took advantage of her and when she got pregnant with his child, made a run for it. She wanted to believe that all the things he said to her, all the promises he made to her were sincere and that he truly loved her. She wanted to believe that he wanted this child and a life together as much as she but as days went by she was getting very nervous. She didn’t have another contact number for him. She did not even know where he lived but she knew where his friend lived so one day she went over to the apartment only to find a family with two small kids living there. The woman told her that they moved in a week ago and did not have any information about the previous tenant. Nadia was clearly distraught. It had happened. Javed did turn out to be a complete jerk whose only goal was to have sex with her. Now what? What was she going to do? How was she going to tell her mother that the father of her baby had disappeared in thin air? How was she going to face the world as an unwed mother? What has she done? She was hating herself at this moment for letting a man take advantage of her like that. Surely her parents raised her to know better but Javed broke her resolve and left her to fend for herself. She was never going to forgive him and she was never going to forgive herself.
Mrs. Qureshi was sitting in Nadia’s room with her head in her hands. Nadia had just told her everything and was now sitting across from her crying. Mrs. Qureshi looked up and said,
“Stop crying. Crying won’t solve the problems you have gotten us into.” Her tone was harsh as she was angry at her daughter and also sad for her.
“There is only one solution. We must abort the child.” She said
“No” Nadia shouted and gripped her stomach with both arms protecting her unborn child.
“Nadia don’t be a fool. There is no other way.”
“No..mummy..no…please don’t do this.” Nadia lowered herself on the floor and grabbed her mother’s feet for mercy.
“Nadia we don’t have a choice. You are an unmarried girl and to get pregnant is a sin. If anyone gets a wind of this we will be outcast from the society. People will spit on us. Who will marry you?” Mrs. Qureshi started babbling in an effort to rationalize the situation.
“But mummy no one has to know. I can go away from here. Far away with my baby.” All of a sudden Nadia was talking like a grown woman and not a teenager.
“This is not possible. You will do as I say. I will not let you deprecate us anymore than you already have.”
She left the room leaving Nadia on the floor. When she got to her room Mr.Qureshi was reading his newspaper. He was unaware of all the happenings in his own home and Mrs.Qureshi preferred it that way. She knew that if her husband finds out the truth he is capable of murdering his own daughter in the name of family honor and pride. Nadia will have to do as she says this is the only way she can save the family’s honor and her daughter’s life. She decided to call her only sister and ask her to come and help her with this difficult decision and when her sister reached she did everything in her power to convince Nadia to do as being told. Nadia rebelled but ultimately made the decision to terminate her pregnancy in order to save her and her family’s honor. Her aunt stayed back for another few months because following the abortion Nadia had fallen into severe bout of depression. She had become zombie like and stayed in her room either listening to sad songs or sleeping. Her mom and aunt knew that for Nadia killing the baby was like cutting off a body part but they were also sure that she will heal with time and they were right because Nadia did recover. She picked herself up and joined a vocational class. Her life had become very routine. Every day she went to class, worked on her assignment, came home, helped her mom in the kitchen and went to sleep. She had lost her zest for life and it broke her mother’s heart to see her this way. She desperately prayed for a miracle that would take Nadia out of this ordeal and change her life. Her prayers were answered the day her childhood friend called from Lahore and said that her son was coming to Karachi for a job interview and would be staying with them a few days. Parvez came and instantly fell in love with this beautiful, quiet girl who had certain sadness in her eyes and secrets in her heart. He immediately decided that Nadia was the girl he wanted to marry. Somehow he felt the urge to take all her sorrows away and give her a life full of love and beauty. When Nadia heard about Parvez’s proposal she told her mom that she wanted to tell him the truth about her past but her mom ruled against it. She did not want to lose a guy like Parvez because she was convinced that once he learns the truth, he will not want to have anything to do with Nadia. For days Nadia struggled with the decision because she did not want to start a new life with a lie. She liked Parvez and did not want to keep him in the dark. As her future husband he had every right to know the truth; hence, she wrote everything in a letter and patiently waited for his reply. She was ready to face rejection but to her surprise Parvez’s decision was not altered. They married with all the fanfare and as promised Parvez lived up to all the promises he made and showered so much love on her that she forgot all about the past and became the same fun loving and spirited girl she always was.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
R.I.P. MJ
As I watched the recap of Michael Jackson's memorial on the news I couldn't help but think that he has become bigger than ever in death then he was alive. Michael Jackson was undoubtedly very talented and broke records worldwide but his recent years kept him in the news more for his personal life rather than the amazing music he made.
I remember the first time I saw Thriller, honestly it scared the crap out of me but I couldn't help myself from watching it over and over again. That was my introduction to the phenomenon called Michael Jackson. Although I was never a huge fan, Jackson's music was always around. His songs and dance moves were copied and recopied all around the world. His moonwalk became so popular that every kid wanted to perfect it. He was a legend and there was no argument about it.
Then in the late 90s things changed. He appeared different physically. Tabloids began churning stories about his numerous plastic surgeries and a skin disorder that made his color lighter and lighter. He was criticised and accused for having fondness for children and for inviting them to his house. I always heard and saw these stories with a certain indifference but last week it was revealed that he tried to return to his own childhood by giving underpriviledged children a few moments of joy. He built a massive amusement park so these kids could play for hours without a care in the world. After all that's what a childhood is all about, but for Michael it was different, much different. When other kids were playing with their bikes, Michael was in the recording studio exercising his vocal cords for hours. They blame his father who was extremely ambitious for his sons and when he realized the potential in Michael, he pushed him even harder. I don't know how much truth is in these stories but it all kind of makes sense now. Maybe he was a tortured soul who was looking for genuine love and affection that he never received from his own father. He became a father and a very devoted one indeed. He loved his children immensely and from his daughter's heartfelt speech today, one can conclude that the kids also adored their father.
It is sad to see this superstar gone so soon but I guess when you are sitting on top of the world it kind of gets lonely up there. You seem to leave the people who know you for the person you are behind and acquire a new set of entourage. The difference is that these new so called friends don't have your best interests at heart. They don't know you for you but for what you do and how much money you have. Like Britney and Anna Nicole, Michael Jackson also had many people around him who did whatever he asked them to do as long as he kept their pockets full.
Indeed it is sad and this is my tribute the one and only King of Pop.
I remember the first time I saw Thriller, honestly it scared the crap out of me but I couldn't help myself from watching it over and over again. That was my introduction to the phenomenon called Michael Jackson. Although I was never a huge fan, Jackson's music was always around. His songs and dance moves were copied and recopied all around the world. His moonwalk became so popular that every kid wanted to perfect it. He was a legend and there was no argument about it.
Then in the late 90s things changed. He appeared different physically. Tabloids began churning stories about his numerous plastic surgeries and a skin disorder that made his color lighter and lighter. He was criticised and accused for having fondness for children and for inviting them to his house. I always heard and saw these stories with a certain indifference but last week it was revealed that he tried to return to his own childhood by giving underpriviledged children a few moments of joy. He built a massive amusement park so these kids could play for hours without a care in the world. After all that's what a childhood is all about, but for Michael it was different, much different. When other kids were playing with their bikes, Michael was in the recording studio exercising his vocal cords for hours. They blame his father who was extremely ambitious for his sons and when he realized the potential in Michael, he pushed him even harder. I don't know how much truth is in these stories but it all kind of makes sense now. Maybe he was a tortured soul who was looking for genuine love and affection that he never received from his own father. He became a father and a very devoted one indeed. He loved his children immensely and from his daughter's heartfelt speech today, one can conclude that the kids also adored their father.
It is sad to see this superstar gone so soon but I guess when you are sitting on top of the world it kind of gets lonely up there. You seem to leave the people who know you for the person you are behind and acquire a new set of entourage. The difference is that these new so called friends don't have your best interests at heart. They don't know you for you but for what you do and how much money you have. Like Britney and Anna Nicole, Michael Jackson also had many people around him who did whatever he asked them to do as long as he kept their pockets full.
Indeed it is sad and this is my tribute the one and only King of Pop.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)