The Bond

The bond between mothers and daughters can be so contradictory. Where it can be argued as the stongest, it can sometimes be just as fragile. It begins when a woman realizes that life has begun to breathe inside her body even through it is just a feeling and a speck on the screen while going through the initial ultrasound, this unbreakable bond is created. She suffers through painful labor but forgets all about it when she holds that beautiful bundle of joy in her arms and her heart melts when those tiny eyes open and look at her. She buys cutsie outfits with matching head bands and barbie dolls while teaching her to eat her vegetables and brush her teeth. When the daughter reaches puberty she buys her a training bra and teaches her to close her knees when sitting at the same time feeling anxious that her baby girl is growing up so fast.

Until now the daughter wanted to be just like her mother. She would immitate the way her mother sits and talks, she secretly sneaks into her room and puts on her lipstick and powder, she slips her feet in her mother's shoes and imagines fitting into her beautiful clothes. Then she becomes a teenager and everything changes. She resents her mother for watching her all the time and asking her about her friends. She hates it when her mother barges into her room and tells her to get off the phone and finish her homework. She gets embarrased when her mother tries to act like her sister. Then she meets a boy and her world turns upside down it feels like the sun rises and sets with his name. He becomes the most important person in her life, she thinks she is falling in love and they will be together for the rest of their lives! She hates the fact that her mother questions about him and doesn't think that he's good enough.

The mother knows that her daughter is going through a phase and even though she tries to let go a little it is very difficult for her. She reminisces about the time when her daughter told her everything, shared every detail of every moment of her life even if she did not want to listen. She knows when that "special" boy breaks her daughter's heart. She is there when her daughter cries her eyes out saying that her life is over because she knows that there is so much more life to live, so much more to learn. Years go by and her precious daughter grows up to be a beautiful and confident woman. Their relationship begins to take a new form again. Her daughter is taking bigger decisions about her life and she needs her mother there.

The daughter begins to realize that there is no better friend then her mother and confides in her. She tells her about hopes, dreams and fears and her mother listens and gives advice where appropriate but sometimes she also meddles. When the daughter reaches a milestone in her career, her mother is the first person she calls. When she finds herself drowning in the depths of depression and sorrow, her mother is there to wipe her tears and to give her hope but there comes a time when the daughter just wants someone to listen and not fix her problems. She hates it when her mother minimizes her pain and says that everything will be all right for she can't see that in that moment. Deep down she knows that her mother is trying to help but still lashes out at her, blaming her for not understanding.

The mother knows that her daughter is going through a tough time and wants to help. She tells her that if it was up to her she would take all her child's sorrows but some things even a mother can't control. She prays that her daughter finds peace and tries to console but is surprised when her daughter accuses her of not undersatnding. Her words cut deep into her heart and leave a scar but she doesn't care about her own wound and only wants her daughter to be happy. She swollows her pride and again reaches out because she knows that her daughter needs her.

When the daughter is done feeling sorry for herself, she realizes that she hurt her mother. She apologizes and her mother says it's ok and the daughter wonders what sort of a creature is this, this mother? She lays her head in her mother's lap and all her worries and pain begin to dissipate. The gentle touch of her mother's hand gives her affirmation that eveything will be all right. She thanks God at that moment for creating mothers who give unconditional love, who take blows from her kids time and again but never forgets her duty, never complains rather prays for her children and always worries about them.

The bond between mothers and daughters is so strong, yet so fragile. Handle with Care.

R