Writing for real!!

I have been writing for fun for a very long time and have received quite a few compliments on some of my work but when I read my own work, I find lots of flaws, I compare myself to the authors I read. I marvel at their ability to use metaphors and similes and to make their characters come alive. It's always a challenge for me to describe physical attributes of a person or paint a picture of a room in great detail so I dicided to enroll myself in a creative writing class. I pitted myself against the Journalists and aspiring novelists of this world. Honestly it was a bit intimidating at first because I felt completely out of place. I sat in my corner when they talked about reading the classics like Anna Karenina, Moby Dick and brilliant works of Shakespeare. I was also impressed by their literary backgrounds and their ability to quote famous authors. Now, I also find myself to be an avid reader and have read works of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, Jane Austen and Harper Lee but only as school assignments. Today I read what I like and what I like is not classics but contemporary works that are written in language we speak, about the world we live in; about family, love, life and society. After attending a few classes and completing a few assignments, I have realized that it's not about how much you have read but it's about what you have gotten out of it. Did reading change your life? It certainly changed mine becuase by reading I found my love for writing and after joining this particular class and reading my material out loud it has given me confidence that I can do this. I may not be as good as others yet but no one is saying that I am bad either! R

Mean Girls

Why do people spend so much time and energy in being mean to others. I think that being mean drains your energy becuse you surround yourself with negativity. Doesn't it take more effort to frown than to smile? My recent encounters with certain people have made me wonder, what is it that the other person does not like about me that makes them behave in such an unprofessional way? Maybe it's not about me at all. Maybe this person has her own demons she's dealing with and my entrance in her life is seen as an interruption and a hindrance. Never mind that all I have seen her do all day is gossiping and looking at pictures on Facebook and when I need something that is actually related to work, there is a sigh and the infamous eyeroll. What is the matter with you lady? Why are you being such a bitch? It's not like I am imposing on you. I was placed here by an agreement between your superior and mine and as I don't have any control over the situation, neither do you. So shouldn't we all just try to get along and make the best of the situation?

My opinion is that we should all act like grownups and most importantly professional. We don't have to like each other but a welcoming smile wouldn't hurt. I am not about to make you my Facebook friend or share my deepest darkest secrets with you. All I want is a little courtesy and acknowledgement that the things I need done should be done at the appropriate time.

Anyways,I was just wondering if people can be fundamentally mean where they are rude to everyone they meet or do they pick and choose their target? I think this type of behavior is petty and childish and does not have any room in the workplace.

There, I have let out my frustration and actually feel good about it, tomorrow I will work on facing the person in question and giving her a piece of my mind if the opportunity presents itself.

R

The Verdict!

Unbelievable!!

That was my reaction when I heard that Casey Anthony was found not guilty. I haven't followed this trial in depth but whatever I had seen disgusted me and made me wonder how a mother can go on partying when her child had been missing for 30 days!! Casey Anthony may not have killed her daughter but she certainly was covering something up and that is a crime in itself. She is an immature woman who saw her child as a gross inconvenience to her lifestyle. She is a daughter who would throw her family under the bus to save her own skin. She is a woman who would lie, cheat and betray people in order to get her way. I know that all this does not make her a murderer but how can a mother not know where her 2 year old daughter is every given moment let alone 30 days!!

I firmly believe that this case was not about justice but about her lawyer pulling all the stops in order to win. During the closing argument, the defense talked for 4 hours displaying a mound of charts and graphs and creating reasonable doubt in the jury's minds. That's what won them the case!! I also feel that the prosecutor's arrogance by laughing and thinking that he had this in the bag may have rubbed the jury the wrong way but ultimately the fate of Casey Anthony rested in the hands of 12 people who felt that a month of evidence and testimony did not prove anything.

During the morning news, I saw a journalist saying that since nowadays people watch shows like CSI where every case has a definitive ending based on DNA evidence, this jury did not think prosecution had a case without DNA. So now we have become so stupid that we have to look at TV shows to determine real life cases? Come on people! Life is not a TV show. There are real victims here who are being deprived of justice because we are so caught up on hype and sensationalism.

I am sad that the jury made the decision that they did but I also know that there is a bigger judge and jury that sees everything and doesn't need DNA evidence to give HIS verdict.

R

Gratitude

On the occasion of Thanksgiving I wanted to write about something that is relevant to people this time of year. Gratitude. I, like many others, forget to be thankful for the things that are in my life because it is so easy to overlook the blessings when you are busy complaining about the shortfalls. My mom always tells me that "when feeling down, always look at people below you, at people who aren't as fortunate as you because by seeing their suffering, your problems will look pretty minuscule." Puts things in perspective, doesn't it?

Long time ago I heard a story where a man goes to heaven and sees three stations. At the first station, there are several angels who are busy opening letters and sorting them. The man looks confused and asks an angel as to what's going on? The angel replies that this is the receiving department. Here, prayers and requests are received from man and presented to God. The man moves on to the next station. Here, the angels are equally busy packing envelopes and boxes. The man asks the angel to explain. Here is the shipping department, the angel explains, all the blessing and wishes that God has granted are shipped from here. The man moves on to the final station where he only sees one angel who is yawning. The man asks the angel what department is this? The angel says that this is the acknowledgment department. He says that human beings are very quick to ask for things and when God grants their wishes, they forget to say thanks so that's why this department is always slow.

Why do you think it is so hard to say a prayer in gratitude? Maybe because we take things for granted or maybe we think that it is our right and we deserve the things we have, but without God's benevolence, nothing is possible. He gives us this life to enjoy and He can easily take it away from us just like that. So I am making it my mission to say thanks everyday, not just on special occasions because the Sun comes out everyday, the air we breathe is a constant and He is the mastermind behind it. When he doesn't forget us for even a single moment, isn't it our duty to say thanks? Next time look around you and count your blessings because their abundance will outweigh shortfalls any day.

R

Mind Games

A few years ago a friend of mine introduced me to "The Secret", a groundbreaking concept that popularized "the law of attraction", which basically said that if you focus on something enough the Universe will make every effort to get it to you. I remember watching this DVD with some skepticism but there were some points that even convinced me to take charge of my own destiny. I instantly came home and relayed this message to my husband and told him that we should make a vision board and put all the things that we desire on it. This way it's out there in the Universe and the law of attraction will bring them to us. He listened to me and amused me while I went through the internet and magazines to search for picture of the things I would like to have. Even though people in the video put some outlandish things on their vision board, I took the practical approach and only asked for things that seemed reasonable. Over the years we have achieved a few things that are on that board but some still remain out of reach. Today every time I look at that board, I question myself whether my desires have come true because of it or were they part of a master plan that was already in place by the Almighty? Do we really have the power to change our destiny? Can we really get each and everything that we desire? If the answer to all these questions is yes then why do we believe in God? Why not just pickup a pen and paper and jot down all our desires and wish them upon us? Why not wish all the bad things out of this world? Does man really have that power? I have subscription to South Asian TV channels and every other commercial is about a numerologist, an astrologer or a clairvoyant who promise to vanish all your problems and guarantee that you will have peace and wealth in just seven days. Is this even possible? Are there people among us who possess the power to eliminate all our problems and make us rich and happy? Is there a mathematical equation that can eradicate all ailments? If so then why is it that only a handful among us are able to do this and not all? Wow! so many questions right? But didn't all of us at one time or another sought answers via reading our horoscope, showing our palm to a psychic or calling a clairvoyant to predict our future? I know that I read my horoscope all the time and will also admit to visiting a psychic once. Does that make me an evil person? No I don't think so because desperate times call for desperate measures. When we are at a low point in life and feel that our prayers are not being answered, we do get swayed by promises made by these self-proclaimed Gurus who promise instant gratification. I am at a point in my life where I am thankful to God for everything that he has blessed me with but I can certainly see someone who is going through a tough time in life sitting in front of his or her TV when a commercial comes on that promises to make all your problems disappear, you will most likely pickup the phone and call and shell out a hefty fee in hopes of getting some answers. It is the vulnerable that these people prey on. There is a whole community out there of people who promise you the world and people of all background and educational levels are falling for it because who doesn't want Utopia, but does Utopia really exist? Are human beings ever satisfied with what we have or do we always want more?

Recently I saw on TV that one of the self help gurus featured on "The Secret", James Arthur Ray, has been arrested for three counts of manslaughter because three people died at one of his retreats in Arizona. This man who made millions of dollars making public appearances and selling books went too far when his followers were led into a sweat lodge to clean their mind and body, to free themselves of all the negatives and essentially have a rebirth. Three people died of extreme heat and dehydration and many were injured. Ray was arrested and is now awaiting his day in court. So my question is: if this man can teach others to attract positives in their lives and make themselves happy, then how come he is facing criminal charges and public scrutiny and is unable to make them go away? Touche.

R

Random Thoughts

I recently attended an event where I saw many middle aged women dressed like teenagers and I felt completely disgusted. It's one thing to want to look young but why do women feel the need to borrow clothes from their two-sizes too small daughters? In this day and age growing old gracefully is not an option for people that's why the anti-aging cosmetics is a multi-billion dollar business around the world. In every country women and some men are trying their hardest to reverse the aging process and they are willing to go through any length to make it happen but dressing in tights and tank tops that accentuate their muffin tops instead of hiding it is just tasteless. People think that the more skin you show, the sexier you look but that's not always true. A woman dressed in a great fitting jean and an embroidered blouse can look better than a woman who is all for skin show. I know many teenage girls who complain that their mothers want to look like their sister when in reality they want their mother to look like their mother and not some hoochie! I understand the need to look young and sexy but dressing like a hooker will only attract the wrong kind of attention.

Another issue that is burning me up is the Gulf oil spill. It makes me sick to see all that oil leaking and threatening the lives of so many innocent people and animals. It broke my heart to see sea gulls and other creatures weighed down by the sticky oil, and what about the fishermen who lost their livelihoods because of some very greedy executives at BP? I was happy to hear that the government is initiating a criminal investigation against BP and I think that they should throw these executives in jail to show the rest of the world that there are consequences for playing with other people's lives.

Well I think that's it for burning issues for now but I will be back with some more later.

R

The big disconnect

I often talk to teenagers and most of the time they tell me that their parents just don't get them. They feel that there is a barrier in place and their parents just don't make any effort to break through it. For the purpose of this blog I will use Desi parents and their kids as examples. A Desi is anyone who has immigrated to the western world from India, Pakistan and other neighboring south Asian countries. Desi people started coming to America in search of a better life for themselves and their families. The land of opportunity was so alluring that they could not resist and left their homeland. In America they threw themselves into work and many of them succeeded astronomically. Soon they began reaping the rewards for their hard work by buying nice homes, purchasing luxury cars and providing their children with all that they never had. For them this was life fulfilled but in living the American dream, they forgot to communicate with their children. These kids grew up to be excellent students because anything mediocre was unacceptable. They sported impeccable manners because that was how "Desi" kids were supposed to behave but they could not communicate with their parents because they grew up in a completely different world. Although desi parents try their best to instill all the cultural aspects in their children, but what they forget is that their kids are first and foremost Americans. They ignore the fact that taking them on a trip "back home" once a year will not change who they are. Instead of bridging the gap, our desi parents relegate to speeches about us vs. them. Those Americans are not like us, they don't have a sense of religion or culture, they have boyfriends and talk back to their parents but we don't do that. We respect our parents, we are supposed to stay chaste until we get married, we don't allow this and we don't allow that. These parents fail to realize that these speeches always have the negative effect on their children. They begin resenting their parents and start questioning them that "If you hated the American culture so much then why did you come here?" It is totally unfair for parents to live in a western country and bash it's people and it's values. Every country has good and bad people and it's up to the parents to talk to their children and teach them the proper values. These values should not be about us vs. them but about incorporating good things from both cultures to raise a complete human being.

I have also observed that parents are completely clueless about what their kids' interests are. The foundation to be involved in your child's life should be laid at a very young age. You should always ask questions about their likes and dislikes and make them used to talking to you because once they hit adolescence they will go into a shell. I grew up in a home where my mom was always there. As soon as I came from school, I would tell her everything about the day and this habit is still there even today. Most parents are too busy to talk to their kids while they are growing up and suddenly become interested in their lives once they reach adolescence, but by this time the kids have made friends and have other confidants and last thing they want to do is share their feelings with their parents.

I believe that every parent should make an effort to become interested in their child's hobbies such as music, movies, books and any other interests at an early age. Conversation to your child should not be limited to "How was school" because nothing will turn them off faster than a school question. A father who educates himself about his son's favorite sport will always have a special connection with him. A mother who learns about the latest trends in fashion and popular culture will always have something to talk about with her daughter. These are foundations that will make your child feel comfortable and they will want to come to you with more serious issues such as drugs, peer pressure, sex instead of going to a friend. I am all for parents who are friendly with their kids but also establish certain boundaries. Trying to become your child's best friend can backfire just as ruling with an iron fist will turn them into rebels.

So desi parents work hard but do not neglect your child because believe it or not your child wants to talk to you but you have to make the first move.

R