I wanted to write about this for a while and finally got the time to sit down and actually give words to my thoughts.
I have been thinking about how judgemental our society has become lately. It seems that everyone is judging everyone else but also very cleverly able to justify it. Politicians attacking each other, conservatives attacking the liberals, straight people attacking the gays and the list can go on and on.
Recently I came across a story about a TV show personality in Pakistan who is going through a divorce and is planning to marry the head of her network. Now, I know that divorce is a very tough thing to go through for anybody but this person, just because she is a media personality, people feel it is their God given right to ridicule and pass judgement on her. They are saying things like she is characterless, a slut and a bad mother but do they really know what is actually going on in her life? Do they even know if it is entirely her fault or not? It is sad to see people who claim that they are respectable say derogatory things about someone they don't even know. Why so much hatred? What difference does it make in their lives if she goes through a divorce and marries someone else? I think it's the culture of social media which reports even when a celebrity sneezes and too many folks with too much time on their hands to analyze such things.
Another issue that is bothering me lately is how rude people have become while driving. There is a street in my neighborhood that usually has several cars parked in front of homes and people driving through there have to carefully navigate their way around it. I remember, back in the day, when you see and oncoming car you would get behind a parked car and let the other car pass. That was the thing to do but lately I have noticed that nobody wants to yield and both cars are racing to get to the other side, no matter how congested the street. The first couple of times it happened, I ignored it and made way for the other car just to be courteous but lately it seems that my niceness is being taken for granted because not only the other driver races by, he or she doesn't even bother to wave as a thank you! So my patience is wearing thin and I am beginning to find myself becoming just like them. Maybe that's not the right thing to do but a person can only take so much!!
Finally, I am hopeful that all the violence and ignorance in the world will be over soon so we can all go back to being good human beings who care about other human beings no matter what the color of our skin or choice of faith. I want us to be rewarded for our minds and hard work at our workplace instead of how our legs look in that fitted pencil skirt. I want so many things but will settle for this for now.
Until next time!
R
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
The Bond
The bond between mothers and daughters can be so contradictory. Where it can be argued as the stongest, it can sometimes be just as fragile. It begins when a woman realizes that life has begun to breathe inside her body even through it is just a feeling and a speck on the screen while going through the initial ultrasound, this unbreakable bond is created. She suffers through painful labor but forgets all about it when she holds that beautiful bundle of joy in her arms and her heart melts when those tiny eyes open and look at her. She buys cutsie outfits with matching head bands and barbie dolls while teaching her to eat her vegetables and brush her teeth. When the daughter reaches puberty she buys her a training bra and teaches her to close her knees when sitting at the same time feeling anxious that her baby girl is growing up so fast.
Until now the daughter wanted to be just like her mother. She would immitate the way her mother sits and talks, she secretly sneaks into her room and puts on her lipstick and powder, she slips her feet in her mother's shoes and imagines fitting into her beautiful clothes. Then she becomes a teenager and everything changes. She resents her mother for watching her all the time and asking her about her friends. She hates it when her mother barges into her room and tells her to get off the phone and finish her homework. She gets embarrased when her mother tries to act like her sister. Then she meets a boy and her world turns upside down it feels like the sun rises and sets with his name. He becomes the most important person in her life, she thinks she is falling in love and they will be together for the rest of their lives! She hates the fact that her mother questions about him and doesn't think that he's good enough.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a phase and even though she tries to let go a little it is very difficult for her. She reminisces about the time when her daughter told her everything, shared every detail of every moment of her life even if she did not want to listen. She knows when that "special" boy breaks her daughter's heart. She is there when her daughter cries her eyes out saying that her life is over because she knows that there is so much more life to live, so much more to learn. Years go by and her precious daughter grows up to be a beautiful and confident woman. Their relationship begins to take a new form again. Her daughter is taking bigger decisions about her life and she needs her mother there.
The daughter begins to realize that there is no better friend then her mother and confides in her. She tells her about hopes, dreams and fears and her mother listens and gives advice where appropriate but sometimes she also meddles. When the daughter reaches a milestone in her career, her mother is the first person she calls. When she finds herself drowning in the depths of depression and sorrow, her mother is there to wipe her tears and to give her hope but there comes a time when the daughter just wants someone to listen and not fix her problems. She hates it when her mother minimizes her pain and says that everything will be all right for she can't see that in that moment. Deep down she knows that her mother is trying to help but still lashes out at her, blaming her for not understanding.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a tough time and wants to help. She tells her that if it was up to her she would take all her child's sorrows but some things even a mother can't control. She prays that her daughter finds peace and tries to console but is surprised when her daughter accuses her of not undersatnding. Her words cut deep into her heart and leave a scar but she doesn't care about her own wound and only wants her daughter to be happy. She swollows her pride and again reaches out because she knows that her daughter needs her.
When the daughter is done feeling sorry for herself, she realizes that she hurt her mother. She apologizes and her mother says it's ok and the daughter wonders what sort of a creature is this, this mother? She lays her head in her mother's lap and all her worries and pain begin to dissipate. The gentle touch of her mother's hand gives her affirmation that eveything will be all right. She thanks God at that moment for creating mothers who give unconditional love, who take blows from her kids time and again but never forgets her duty, never complains rather prays for her children and always worries about them.
The bond between mothers and daughters is so strong, yet so fragile. Handle with Care.
R
Until now the daughter wanted to be just like her mother. She would immitate the way her mother sits and talks, she secretly sneaks into her room and puts on her lipstick and powder, she slips her feet in her mother's shoes and imagines fitting into her beautiful clothes. Then she becomes a teenager and everything changes. She resents her mother for watching her all the time and asking her about her friends. She hates it when her mother barges into her room and tells her to get off the phone and finish her homework. She gets embarrased when her mother tries to act like her sister. Then she meets a boy and her world turns upside down it feels like the sun rises and sets with his name. He becomes the most important person in her life, she thinks she is falling in love and they will be together for the rest of their lives! She hates the fact that her mother questions about him and doesn't think that he's good enough.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a phase and even though she tries to let go a little it is very difficult for her. She reminisces about the time when her daughter told her everything, shared every detail of every moment of her life even if she did not want to listen. She knows when that "special" boy breaks her daughter's heart. She is there when her daughter cries her eyes out saying that her life is over because she knows that there is so much more life to live, so much more to learn. Years go by and her precious daughter grows up to be a beautiful and confident woman. Their relationship begins to take a new form again. Her daughter is taking bigger decisions about her life and she needs her mother there.
The daughter begins to realize that there is no better friend then her mother and confides in her. She tells her about hopes, dreams and fears and her mother listens and gives advice where appropriate but sometimes she also meddles. When the daughter reaches a milestone in her career, her mother is the first person she calls. When she finds herself drowning in the depths of depression and sorrow, her mother is there to wipe her tears and to give her hope but there comes a time when the daughter just wants someone to listen and not fix her problems. She hates it when her mother minimizes her pain and says that everything will be all right for she can't see that in that moment. Deep down she knows that her mother is trying to help but still lashes out at her, blaming her for not understanding.
The mother knows that her daughter is going through a tough time and wants to help. She tells her that if it was up to her she would take all her child's sorrows but some things even a mother can't control. She prays that her daughter finds peace and tries to console but is surprised when her daughter accuses her of not undersatnding. Her words cut deep into her heart and leave a scar but she doesn't care about her own wound and only wants her daughter to be happy. She swollows her pride and again reaches out because she knows that her daughter needs her.
When the daughter is done feeling sorry for herself, she realizes that she hurt her mother. She apologizes and her mother says it's ok and the daughter wonders what sort of a creature is this, this mother? She lays her head in her mother's lap and all her worries and pain begin to dissipate. The gentle touch of her mother's hand gives her affirmation that eveything will be all right. She thanks God at that moment for creating mothers who give unconditional love, who take blows from her kids time and again but never forgets her duty, never complains rather prays for her children and always worries about them.
The bond between mothers and daughters is so strong, yet so fragile. Handle with Care.
R
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
The Social Notwork!
So I took a bold step this week and deactivated my Facebook account, WHAT?? Yes, my friends I am no longer the social network junkie. For some people this may be like falling off the face of earth or the virtual death. It was a tough decision but in light of many things, had to be made. Now you must be thinking why would I do something like this? One, I was spending way too much time on it, really? Yes, having FB app on your iPhone is like being attached to a ball and chain. Every few minutes when you feel like taking a break, you click a button and there in front of you are all the status updates from the last five minutes. Even though most of them are random and you would otherwise have no interest in them, you read through them anyway and maybe hit the LIKE button on a couple.
When it comes to statuses, there are several varieties of them. Some just post where they are and what they are doing at the present. Some post philosophical and inspirational quotes -- Ok now I don't mind reading one or two of them but when someone posts three or more in one day, it clearly annoys me. What's worse is that they are almost always posted by people who have never seen a dark day in their lives, who have virtually everything in the world and are very happy and they are the ones telling me to be patient, have faith and look on the bright side, GIVE ME A BREAK!!
There are some statuses I really like for example, comic strips or joke of the day. They do put a smile on my face and I will take them rather then an inspirational quote anyday.
Another thing that drives me up the wall is when people post pictures of their children. Now I like children especially babies but must you put a new pic everyday? Do we really need to know when your kid started eating solid foods or pooped for that matter? I realize that every parent is proud of their kids and want to capture every special moment but must you subject the rest of us to it? I feel sorry for relatives of these people who feel obligated to make a comment every time a new picture is posted becuse if they don't, the parent might think you don't think their kid is cute.
My decision is only temporary and I may come back on it in the future but for some reason knowing too much about people disturbs me and makes me wonder how much I have already revealed to strangers and what are the consequences?
To summarize, I feel that Facebook has changed the game of how we interact with people and on some level it is great and as humans we have the tendency to be curious about other people but must we reveal every aspect of our lives in front of our 300+ Facebook friends? Are all these people really our true friends? Will most of them come for our help when we call them in the middle of the night, loan us money when we are in trouble or give us a shoulder when we need to cry? Maybe there are people who can answer YES to all these questions but I cannot say the same and until I am ready to make peace with this I will be living my life in the real world and will not be posting any pictures of it!!
R
When it comes to statuses, there are several varieties of them. Some just post where they are and what they are doing at the present. Some post philosophical and inspirational quotes -- Ok now I don't mind reading one or two of them but when someone posts three or more in one day, it clearly annoys me. What's worse is that they are almost always posted by people who have never seen a dark day in their lives, who have virtually everything in the world and are very happy and they are the ones telling me to be patient, have faith and look on the bright side, GIVE ME A BREAK!!
There are some statuses I really like for example, comic strips or joke of the day. They do put a smile on my face and I will take them rather then an inspirational quote anyday.
Another thing that drives me up the wall is when people post pictures of their children. Now I like children especially babies but must you put a new pic everyday? Do we really need to know when your kid started eating solid foods or pooped for that matter? I realize that every parent is proud of their kids and want to capture every special moment but must you subject the rest of us to it? I feel sorry for relatives of these people who feel obligated to make a comment every time a new picture is posted becuse if they don't, the parent might think you don't think their kid is cute.
My decision is only temporary and I may come back on it in the future but for some reason knowing too much about people disturbs me and makes me wonder how much I have already revealed to strangers and what are the consequences?
To summarize, I feel that Facebook has changed the game of how we interact with people and on some level it is great and as humans we have the tendency to be curious about other people but must we reveal every aspect of our lives in front of our 300+ Facebook friends? Are all these people really our true friends? Will most of them come for our help when we call them in the middle of the night, loan us money when we are in trouble or give us a shoulder when we need to cry? Maybe there are people who can answer YES to all these questions but I cannot say the same and until I am ready to make peace with this I will be living my life in the real world and will not be posting any pictures of it!!
R
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