I just don't understand the difference between being fake or being a diplomat. I know that sometimes diplomacy can be great because it can earn you some brownie points. I mean you are not going to tell your 300lb manager that she doesn't need to order that 12 oz filet mignon. I mean that's just dumb because if you do that you will get fired. So diplomacy is great if you have to save your skin or your job for that matter, but I just can't stand being fake. For instance I had attended a meeting recently and this guy was trying to say all the right things to get everyone;s attention and with every comment of his people were praising him to the sky but I just couldn't get myself to do that. Honestly I just was not impressed. Also, I can't give fake compliments. I just can't be fake like that and maybe that has hurt me in the past. I carry my emotions on my face and when something doesn't meet my approval you will see it. In my opinion that shows that I am true to myself but to others it may seem that I am arrogant or just plain rude.
So is it better to compromise with who you are just to look good in someone else's eyes? I don't know the answer but I am trying to learn one day at a time.
R
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
Short Story---Me and Amanda
Hey guys I have attached a short story I recently wrote. This is completely fiction. Let me know what you think.
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It was one of those days when you just don't want to get out of bed, don't want to talk to anybody not even your husband. Doug had left for work a little while ago and I was just laying in bed telling myself that I should get up and get ready for work but I just did not have the energy. Turns out that I had caught the flu and had to call in sick. All day I lay in bed, occasionally getting up to chug NyQuil down my throat. I had no idea when Doug got in, made his dinner, fed and walked the dogs and lied down next to me at night. He nudged me a little and I let out an irritated groan. Poor guy just wanted to know if I was feeling any better. I told him that I probably needed one more days rest and I'll be fine. He suggested that I go see a doctor in the morning but I dismissed that suggestion. We did not have any health insurance and certainly didn't need to spend money on a doctor's visit and prescription drugs. My NyQuil was going to do the job; I was sure of it and right enough after two days of rest I was back on my feet.
When I got to work, I saw a new face in the store. Julie came up to me and told me about the new girl. Her name was Amanda and she had started the day I called in sick. She also told me that Amanda was going to work in the cosmetics department with me and I was to train her. Panic struck within me. The first thing I thought was that she was here to replace me. I was to teach her everything I knew and then she would take my job. Noticing the expression on my face, Julie assured me that that wasn't the case. In the last few months, sales had gone up and we needed an extra hand, still I proceeded with caution. Amanda was one of those all American types with blond hair and blue eyes. If you looked at her close enough you would think that she was quite pretty. She was certainly well groomed, had real nice skin and wore designer jeans and carried a real nice Coach purse which must cost her no less than 400 bucks! When Julie introduced us, all my preconceived notions about Amanda were put to rest. She was actually very sweet. She listened to me very carefully and took notes. She also asked a lot of questions which made me feel kind of important. Within a couple of days, Amanda was fully trained. She was pretty and smart and I decided that I actually liked her.
Over several days I got to know Amanda a lot better. She told me that she is an only child and grew up in Houston. Her parents are both school teachers so education was big in her family. She finished high school with honors and then went to University of Texas in Austin. After college she landed a big time marketing job at a multinational company and worked as a consultant for a few years. When she got tired of all the traveling she met Scott, a Safety Engineer from Dallas. They dated for four years and got married. Scott received a good job opportunity in Dothan so they both moved here six months ago. She also told me that she wanted to start a family right after she got married but after three years of trying, they have been unsuccessful.
I asked her what a well educated girl like her doing working in a cosmetics department of a drugstore and she told me that her field of work was very stressful and required a lot of commitment and she had already done that for several years. Right now she just wanted to be a mother and until that happened she wanted to stay busy just doing this.
On the way home I couldn't help but wonder how different our lives were. Doug and I were high school sweethearts and after graduation, he went to our local community college to get a certificate for a refrigeration technician. Going to college was never really an option for me because my dad had left us when we were kids and my mom worked two jobs to raise me and my brother. After high school I applied for a job at the corner Walgreen's and been here ever since. After finishing community college Doug proposed and we got married at the civic center.
We have been married for seven years and I like to think that we're doing pretty good for ourselves, I mean we are not rich or anything but we get by with what we have. With all these difference one thing that struck me as common between Amanda and I was not having any kids. After two years of marriage, Doug and I wanted kids also and we thought that it would only take a few months of trying but after six months of having sex every night, there was still no baby. We decided to take a break for a little while and let it happen, but still nothing. I started getting worried that maybe something was wrong with me and went to the doctor. After a million tests and $3,000, the doctor told me that I was perfectly allright. Then why was I not able to get pregnant? One of my friends suggested that Doug should get himself checked out but he wasn't having any of that. According to him he was in perfect health and besides all his brothers and sisters have normal healthy kids. We had several arguments on this topic but after not getting anywhere I just gave up. Now after eight years we don't talk about babies, when friends and relatives ask, we just smile and leave the room.
So when Amanda asked me if I had any kids, I was a little uncomfortable and tried to change the subject, but didn't I tell you that she was smart? She immediately figured out that we were having problems. It didn't take me long to spill my guts out to her. Somehow I trusted her because she understood me. Julie, Connie and Terry could never understand because they had about a dozen kids between them but Amanda understood and showed tremendous empathy. She listened to me complaining about Doug and his stubbornness but she also knew that I loved him. For me we were both the same even though we were not. She and Scott vacationed on exotic islands, while Doug and I would drive to Pensacola every Fourth of July weekend. She and Scott read The Times and Wall Street Journal Where Doug and I used the local paper to pickup after our dogs Brick and Fuzz. She drove a Lexus where I drove and old Buick, but even with all the differences we had this one thing in common, we were both barren. At the time I was completely unaware of the fact that Amanda was taking advantage of all the new technology that was available to have a baby. I didn't suspect anything when she took several days off to go to Houston, not even when she ran to the bathroom when she was about to throw up. It was when Terry and Julie started teasing her that I realized that she was actually pregnant! The reality of it hit me like a ton of bricks. How could she do this to me? I thought that she was my true friend and we had a very sacred bond. How could she take this one thing away from me? I blamed her for betraying me. I didn't want to talk to her, didn't even want to see her face. She knew exactly what was going through my head and she let me be. She didn't try to explain or justify anything.
It was her last day at work and all the girls decided to throw her a surprise shower. I also chipped in for a stroller. I watched her open all her presents and thank everyone with teary eyes. When it was time to go, she came up to me and hugged me. Her gesture took me completely by surprise but her warmth comforted me. She placed my hand on her belly and let me feel the life inside of her. Tears welled up in my eyes and we both hugged each other and cried for several minutes. She parted by saying that she has already said a prayer for me and that my wish will come true.
Three months later I visited her in her hospital room. She was sleeping at the time but there was a smile on her lips. Her face was clam and content. I didn't wake her up but left a little note on her night stand which said, "I am pregnant."
Seven months later Jayden James Pinkerton came in this world and as I watched his face, I knew that Amanda's silent prayer had made this possible. Today I know that she didn't tell me about her pregnancy because she didn't want to hurt me but she also wanted me to be happy for her. The day of her shower she let me experience a very private moment with her baby, because she understood.
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It was one of those days when you just don't want to get out of bed, don't want to talk to anybody not even your husband. Doug had left for work a little while ago and I was just laying in bed telling myself that I should get up and get ready for work but I just did not have the energy. Turns out that I had caught the flu and had to call in sick. All day I lay in bed, occasionally getting up to chug NyQuil down my throat. I had no idea when Doug got in, made his dinner, fed and walked the dogs and lied down next to me at night. He nudged me a little and I let out an irritated groan. Poor guy just wanted to know if I was feeling any better. I told him that I probably needed one more days rest and I'll be fine. He suggested that I go see a doctor in the morning but I dismissed that suggestion. We did not have any health insurance and certainly didn't need to spend money on a doctor's visit and prescription drugs. My NyQuil was going to do the job; I was sure of it and right enough after two days of rest I was back on my feet.
When I got to work, I saw a new face in the store. Julie came up to me and told me about the new girl. Her name was Amanda and she had started the day I called in sick. She also told me that Amanda was going to work in the cosmetics department with me and I was to train her. Panic struck within me. The first thing I thought was that she was here to replace me. I was to teach her everything I knew and then she would take my job. Noticing the expression on my face, Julie assured me that that wasn't the case. In the last few months, sales had gone up and we needed an extra hand, still I proceeded with caution. Amanda was one of those all American types with blond hair and blue eyes. If you looked at her close enough you would think that she was quite pretty. She was certainly well groomed, had real nice skin and wore designer jeans and carried a real nice Coach purse which must cost her no less than 400 bucks! When Julie introduced us, all my preconceived notions about Amanda were put to rest. She was actually very sweet. She listened to me very carefully and took notes. She also asked a lot of questions which made me feel kind of important. Within a couple of days, Amanda was fully trained. She was pretty and smart and I decided that I actually liked her.
Over several days I got to know Amanda a lot better. She told me that she is an only child and grew up in Houston. Her parents are both school teachers so education was big in her family. She finished high school with honors and then went to University of Texas in Austin. After college she landed a big time marketing job at a multinational company and worked as a consultant for a few years. When she got tired of all the traveling she met Scott, a Safety Engineer from Dallas. They dated for four years and got married. Scott received a good job opportunity in Dothan so they both moved here six months ago. She also told me that she wanted to start a family right after she got married but after three years of trying, they have been unsuccessful.
I asked her what a well educated girl like her doing working in a cosmetics department of a drugstore and she told me that her field of work was very stressful and required a lot of commitment and she had already done that for several years. Right now she just wanted to be a mother and until that happened she wanted to stay busy just doing this.
On the way home I couldn't help but wonder how different our lives were. Doug and I were high school sweethearts and after graduation, he went to our local community college to get a certificate for a refrigeration technician. Going to college was never really an option for me because my dad had left us when we were kids and my mom worked two jobs to raise me and my brother. After high school I applied for a job at the corner Walgreen's and been here ever since. After finishing community college Doug proposed and we got married at the civic center.
We have been married for seven years and I like to think that we're doing pretty good for ourselves, I mean we are not rich or anything but we get by with what we have. With all these difference one thing that struck me as common between Amanda and I was not having any kids. After two years of marriage, Doug and I wanted kids also and we thought that it would only take a few months of trying but after six months of having sex every night, there was still no baby. We decided to take a break for a little while and let it happen, but still nothing. I started getting worried that maybe something was wrong with me and went to the doctor. After a million tests and $3,000, the doctor told me that I was perfectly allright. Then why was I not able to get pregnant? One of my friends suggested that Doug should get himself checked out but he wasn't having any of that. According to him he was in perfect health and besides all his brothers and sisters have normal healthy kids. We had several arguments on this topic but after not getting anywhere I just gave up. Now after eight years we don't talk about babies, when friends and relatives ask, we just smile and leave the room.
So when Amanda asked me if I had any kids, I was a little uncomfortable and tried to change the subject, but didn't I tell you that she was smart? She immediately figured out that we were having problems. It didn't take me long to spill my guts out to her. Somehow I trusted her because she understood me. Julie, Connie and Terry could never understand because they had about a dozen kids between them but Amanda understood and showed tremendous empathy. She listened to me complaining about Doug and his stubbornness but she also knew that I loved him. For me we were both the same even though we were not. She and Scott vacationed on exotic islands, while Doug and I would drive to Pensacola every Fourth of July weekend. She and Scott read The Times and Wall Street Journal Where Doug and I used the local paper to pickup after our dogs Brick and Fuzz. She drove a Lexus where I drove and old Buick, but even with all the differences we had this one thing in common, we were both barren. At the time I was completely unaware of the fact that Amanda was taking advantage of all the new technology that was available to have a baby. I didn't suspect anything when she took several days off to go to Houston, not even when she ran to the bathroom when she was about to throw up. It was when Terry and Julie started teasing her that I realized that she was actually pregnant! The reality of it hit me like a ton of bricks. How could she do this to me? I thought that she was my true friend and we had a very sacred bond. How could she take this one thing away from me? I blamed her for betraying me. I didn't want to talk to her, didn't even want to see her face. She knew exactly what was going through my head and she let me be. She didn't try to explain or justify anything.
It was her last day at work and all the girls decided to throw her a surprise shower. I also chipped in for a stroller. I watched her open all her presents and thank everyone with teary eyes. When it was time to go, she came up to me and hugged me. Her gesture took me completely by surprise but her warmth comforted me. She placed my hand on her belly and let me feel the life inside of her. Tears welled up in my eyes and we both hugged each other and cried for several minutes. She parted by saying that she has already said a prayer for me and that my wish will come true.
Three months later I visited her in her hospital room. She was sleeping at the time but there was a smile on her lips. Her face was clam and content. I didn't wake her up but left a little note on her night stand which said, "I am pregnant."
Seven months later Jayden James Pinkerton came in this world and as I watched his face, I knew that Amanda's silent prayer had made this possible. Today I know that she didn't tell me about her pregnancy because she didn't want to hurt me but she also wanted me to be happy for her. The day of her shower she let me experience a very private moment with her baby, because she understood.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
What's for dinner: Plastic?
Yes my friends we have officially trashed the Pacific Ocean. Recent reports have revealed that the floor of Pacific Ocean is full of debris such as discarded plastic bottles and plastic bags. Since we are running out of land to dump our trash, we are using the ocean to do it. It seemed pretty wise since deep blue waters can hide all our ugly secrets but what we neglected to realize is that there is life in the ocean. There are millions of different species that call the blue waters home and they are the ones suffering from all the pollution we are responsible for. There is beautiful and colorful coral reef that is dying because plastic bags settle over them and they stop breathing due to suffocation. Recently some fishermen who have caught fish to eat from the ocean have discovered shards of plastic in their stomach. Apparently fish are chewing at the discarded plastic. We are fortunate that we have laws that prevent these fish from landing on our table, but if the pollution continues at this rate there won't be any fish left to eat.
Our city has placed recycle bins at every home and I make it a point to recycle all plastic bottles and magazines but not everyone realizes the seriousness of this problem. This is our world and we have a responsibility towards it. It is up to us to save whatever we have of this beautiful planet. We are killing fish, polar bears are going extinct and all the ice is melting. Global warming is very real and it is about time that we wake up and do something about it.
R
Our city has placed recycle bins at every home and I make it a point to recycle all plastic bottles and magazines but not everyone realizes the seriousness of this problem. This is our world and we have a responsibility towards it. It is up to us to save whatever we have of this beautiful planet. We are killing fish, polar bears are going extinct and all the ice is melting. Global warming is very real and it is about time that we wake up and do something about it.
R
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